Posted on by Kristina Knowles

Are you the Victim or Victor…

Of your life?

 

I pray you are the Victor and you are living a life with joy, peace and happiness for God. And if you are the Victim, I pray if you are reading this you will make an effort to read this entire blog to no longer be the Victim but the Victor. Let me show you the difference.

A Victim will constantly complain about almost everything in life, even down to the food served to them at a fast food restaurant. Victims live in the past of their hurt and refuse to heal or see a therapist. A Victim will relive their unhealthy past to everyone they meet, even relive it in their own head over and over again. And you can’t even be who God wants you to be because you are so focused on your dysfunctional past. You can’t be in a healthy relationship with yourself because you are so focused on your past. Since you can’t be healthy with yourself, you certainly can’t be in a relationship with another person. Shocker, right!?

When someone is living in their past dysfunction, I like to call that a dust storm. And when there is a dust storm, you can see but not clearly. And until the dust storm settles in your life and mind you can’t be who God ultimately created you to be.  Easy right!? Not so fast, easy if you truly want to be healed. Most Victim’s love to play the Victim, it’s like a role. People expect them to be negative, melancholy, angry and or sad, it’s their normal but not normal.

So when you want to stop playing the madness of the Victim role these are the things that will start to happen almost immediately when you want to be the Victor in your own life:

  1. You will no longer bring up the past hurt and chaos.
  2. You will no longer complain about everything.
  3. Your heart will heal and become happier, day by day.
  4. You will no longer hurt.
  5. You will no longer play the role of Victim.
  6. You will no longer use drugs, alcohol, retail therapy or food to make you fake happy or high.
  7. You will stop blaming the past for your present or future.
  8. The people around you will notice how different you are for the better, not worse.
  9. You will notice that you will begin to love yourself and essentially love others.
  10. You will get closer to God.

The Victor is the goal, Satan loves his Victims. Satan whispers the bad memories of your past to bring you down, not lift you up. Satan would love nothing more to ruin you and your family. We have the power of God to rebuke Satan and his evil. Remember God loves you and me, He is constantly pulling for us each and every day.

 

 

Posted on by Kristina Knowles

What Wheel are you on?

I ask this question because some of you might feel like you are on a hamster wheel, a ferris wheel, wheel of fortune or maybe you feel like you are on a wheel rolling down a hill totally out of control with no breaks.

The Hamster Wheel makes me think of people who wake up everyday and go about their life in the same exact manner everyday. Unfortunately, these people don’t even realize the one track life they are on. Why!? I will help you, it’s because when they look around they see that most in their inner circle behaving the same way. Tunnel vision living is not for you.

The Ferris Wheel makes me think of another group of people that live in very high, high’s and very low, low’s. Sure you might say to yourself, isn’t that life? Well, it doesn’t have to be, more importantly it’s not healthy. We make so many different decisions everyday to make our lives good or bad. It’s safer to always strive to make good healthy decisions in order for our life to be whole and holy.

The Wheel of Fortune might remind you of a television show but that is not what I am referring to. I am talking about being on the wheel of gaining wealth, aka fortune. What good is it to gain the entire world, and lose his own soul? (Mark 8:36) You can’t only focus on money, wealth and fortune if you truly want happiness. The love of money will lead to greed, emptiness and corruption. You can’t have two Masters of any kind.

The lone Wheel rolling down the hill out of control. The people on this wheel are experiencing anxiety, addiction, despair, fear, loneliness and/or abuse. Unfortunately, these people rarely reach out for help and feel totally, completely out of control.

No matter what wheel you might be on, get off! God ultimately wants you to release yourself from the trappings of your unhealthy decisions. God sent his one and only Son to die for our sins. He didn’t say,”Go child of mine, be dysfunctional, be emotionally unstable, angry, mad or sad.” It’s the exact opposite, God wants you to love Him and His ways, not man’s. God wants the best, His best for you and me.    


                                                                via Daily Prompt: Wheel

Posted on by Kristina Knowles

A man from Chicago…

and I had a conversation about food.

He was in town for a wedding and we were talking about all the delicious desserts he is tempted to eat. He then proceeded to tell me that he weighed an extra 180 more pounds a year ago before he had gastric bypass surgery. My mouth dropped because he seemed naturally thin vs. previously obese. I told him how proud I was of him for all his hard word work and gave him a high five.

I then leveled with him about how hard it is to eat healthy every day with all the choices we have these days. We can have bad choices delivered to our front door, we can drive thru fast food restaurants and buy super unhealthy food choices at the grocery store. And television doesn’t help either, every other commercial is about unhealthy food as well. How do we compete with those odds? I will tell you.

We make our bodies a temple in which God created us to protect and nourish. We make an effort everyday to make good healthy choices to make our bodies strong, healthy and pure. We teach others and our children to make good wholesome choices as well. God doesn’t intend for us to live in pain, or be in a body that we are not going to take care of.

The gentleman told me that he could polish off a Chicago style pizza with all the toppings all by himself, every weekend. I asked him if he felt like he was in a constant food coma most of his life until now, he agreed. I have seen this behavior in many people’s lives, we develop habits that our life style condones. We surround ourselves with people that eat, live and sleep like us for the most part. So if you want to change your lifestyle with how you eat, live or sleep make an effort to make changes that encourage a healthy life. Lack of sleep and poor eating habits rob us from energy, overall health and happiness.

Daniel knew King Nebuchadnezzar’s food and wine was not healthy to eat. God gave Daniel the knowledge to discern healthy decisions vs. unhealthy choices. Just so you know, God gave us discernment too, we just have to decide to use it and not ignore it.

Posted on by Kristina Knowles

Sitting with a Veteran…

I struck up a conversation with a very kind hearted man. This man was waiting for his wife, daughter and grand-daughter.

I thanked him for his service and started to talk to him about my son who recently graduated from The United States Air Force. He started to beam with joy to hear the story and look at the pictures from the graduation. It was hot and I wanted to get a cup of water, as I got up I asked him if he needed anything, he responded; just more time.

My heart sank, I never heard anyone ask for time in such a humble manner. When I came back, I asked him about time. He said, Oh Kristina, I am on the other side of my life, the side that is almost over. I have a beautiful wife, an amazing daughter and such a spectacular grand daughter, my time with them is growing shorter and shorter every day.

We don’t know how much time we have with each other he replied but I do know one thing, I don’t want to waste my time with them arguing, fighting or complaining. I want to have happy filled moments with them. I want smiles and not frowns, tears of joy instead of tears of pain. I started to cry just a little bit to hear this man, who fought in Vietnam, who loves his family and just wanted the peace of love to over rule his last remaining moments.

Do you think about the time you wasted on someone that didn’t care about you? Or all the wasted time you sat in front of a video game or television? Maybe time at a job that didn’t amount to anything? We waste hours upon hours of time on things that don’t really matter, until we are faced with the grim reality of time running out. I ask you to stop wasting time at this very moment on the things in your life that are wasting your time.

God waits patiently for all of His children to wake up but wouldn’t you rather wake up now before it’s too late?!

Posted on by Kristina Knowles

Happy vs. Holy..

Which one is more important to you?

I recently met a couple, they told me that they have been married to each other for 28 years. Wow, I exclaimed and congratulated them both. I was intrigued to know how were they defying the odds and avoiding divorce.

The gentleman, quickly responded,”I married up” for sure. We all laughed but then his wife responded. “It’s not about finding someone who makes you happy but someone who makes you Holy.” I responded with a firm, Amen and added when you are holy, it is when you are truly happy. We were all smiling, shaking our heads in agreement.

Then I started to think of every relationship I ever had in my entire life. Romantic, platonic, family, friendly, work, neighbors, college, high school and elementary, all of them. Which one’s were leading me to be holy and which ones were not, the list was short but instantly I was able to identify each and every person who wanted to do good in my life for God.

I love this concept, help and lead people new and old to be more holy, which will lead to true happiness. Great concept but are people in general ready to be happy on God’s terms or are they striving to solely be happy on their own? I truly believe this is the #1 hang up in most people’s lives. Let go and let God I like to say when someone is so stuck they can’t see straight. However, easier said than done for most.

I will choose God for the source of my holiness which will undeniably lead me to happiness. My happiness from holiness will lead to the happiness and holiness for others. I pray for you today, choose God’s plan for your life above your own. I promise, it’s even better than you could have ever imagined for yourself.

 

Posted on by Kristina Knowles

My Four Fathers…

And how I love them so.

I was born to a Mother and Father, then after 11 years of marriage they decided to part ways and divorce. And you would think that is where the story ended but no that is where the blessings began.

I have Four remarkable Fathers who have made an impact on my life. I know, I know, some people can’t even say they have 1 father and I have been blessed with four men who I get to call Dad. I took the sour lemons of life and made delicious green tea lemonade and stayed blessed.

One day while I was thinking about my 4 Fathers I started to write their names down in order in which they came into my life.

A is for Andrew, my Dad who gave me life. My Dad is a tough guy but a kind heart. He taught me to be strong, fierce, kind and graceful. My Dad told me to never let anyone tell me I couldn’t do something good, to never back down and to never give up. We were active with bike riding, cooking and sports galore. My Dad didn’t drink or do drugs and he advocated the same principles for me; I obliged. I love roses because my Dad made sure I had roses for birthdays and Valentine’s day. My Dad wanted us to have manners and respect so he would take us to fine dining restaurants, so we could practice what he taught us. And to this day, my Dad may disagree with my politics but he loves me and appreciates me for who I am and I love him.

R is for Robert, my Dad who came in after the divorce. The very tall, kind, quiet and caring Dad; a gentle giant if you will. He like my Dad, taught me grace which every little girl should be taught. Robert is a very patient man, he had no children of his own before our brother Jacob came along. With Robert, I learned about a beautiful Jewish family and religion first hand. He included us in all his family activities and traditions without batting an eye. Robert gave me a different perspective on family values. He encouraged me, helped me start baby-sitting and would even drive me and my friends to the mall when other parents couldn’t. And to this day, Robert is still my Dad and I love him so much.

M is for Michael, my other Dad who came in after the divorce from Robert. Unfortunately, I didn’t bond with Michael but that doesn’t mean I didn’t learn something from him while he was in the position of Dad. Michael was a Southern Baptist from Alabama who was extremely set in his ways with no prior children of his own. And I will leave it right there…

S is for Steve, my current Dad after a huge gap of time after Michael. Steve is quiet, generous, patient and kind. Oh yeah, super smart and will beat you at trivia. Steve is a singer, loves a good pipe, a stiff drink and his dogs. I have been a single Mom for the last 11 years, without the help, kindness and care from Steve and my Mom I don’t know how my life would be. I am grateful that Steve loves my Mom so much, again with no children of his own he has shown so much care and kindness. And I love Steve, too.

So as you can see, God blessed me with 4 unbelievable Fathers. The A.R.M.S. of each Father surrounded me with kindness, care, concern and love in their own special way, even Michael. God knew I needed each Father for a different reason that would help mold me into the women I am today. My life could be so different but God made it so wonderful.

Happy Father’s Day to all the Dad’s who showed up to be a great force in their children’s lives. I appreciate the Dad’s who won’t give up during the tough times of life. And lastly, God bless the Dad’s who stepped in when someone else stepped out. Thank you!

(*I am not an Advocate of Divorce, I don’t recommend multiple marriages. However, I know without a doubt through all the trials and tribulations of my life Jesus was right there beside me, showing up, loving me and protecting me. Just like He is today for you and me.)

 

 

Posted on by Kristina Knowles

Kindness…

Pass it on!

I was so happy last Sunday when a woman came up to me to tell me that she noticed my positive energy, happiness and overall spirit filled personality. Wow, I was blown away and speechless by her kindness. I didn’t know what to say but thank you. Then she disappeared, I wanted to ask her so many questions. Why, you ask? I am fascinated by good people doing randomly nice things.

I have watched my Mother and Father, along with my Grandma Miles do incredibly kind and loving things for family, friends and complete strangers. I must admit, it was the best part of my childhood. However, the downside of kindness is watching people get taken advantage of or the person is not being grateful. I am so thankful my parents and Grandma took the time to teach me very early to do things from the goodness of your heart, not expecting a thing in return.

So, after I came down from the high of the compliment, I started to realize how great would it be if we all made a pledge to give a heartfelt, happy comment to a complete stranger or someone we know. It felt so amazing, I want each and every person to feel this amazing too. Please understand, it must be heartfelt and meaningful, not forced or fake. I know Jesus is big on LOVE and honesty, so we should be too. And if you can’t come up with anything to say, just smile. A smile can go a long way in a matter of seconds for someone that might be having a bad day.

Peace, LOVE and Jesus!!!

 

Posted on by Kristina Knowles

When will I die,…

Only God knows.

And I am so good with that. I want to help people understand that living a reckless life with food high in fat, salt, sugar or calories is horrible. Reckless with high caloric, fructose or alcoholic beverages and lack of exercise is not good or Godly. In fact, the human body will let you kill itself with bad food choices, if you let it, isn’t that fascinating!??

I seek out people who have lived longer, healthier and who are happy. I tend to stay away from advertisers who believe and think I am more attracted to buying things from much younger women as their Spokesmodels. Unfortunately, we have been made to believe sex sells, younger is better and consumers are not too smart or intelligent to know the difference. Wrong!!!

Yes, God only knows when you will die, so true. I just want to feel and look as good and natural as I can until that day. Makes sense, right!!?? Why fight age with synthetic procedures or food? Instead eat healthy, nourish and exercise your body with the utmost care and concern, instead of taking short cuts. It’s never too late to start to change your unhealthy habits today. Isn’t that awesome?

The fact that we fight to look so different is a direct reflection of how we feel about ourselves. Instead of accepting our unique beauty or each other’s, we are truly listening to the lies that Satan tells us instead. I encourage you to uplift yourself and other’s every day, especially your children. Let everyone know they were uniquely made by God, not a mistake but a God Original-AMEN!!!