Posted on by Kristina Knowles

We decided to meet at…

Red Lobster.

Chris would be out of town, I thought this would be a great opportunity to get to know the Birth Mother better. I was so excited to see her again, to make sure she was in good spirits and that she had not changed her mind about the adoption. Our dinner could not have gone better. We both asked each other so many questions. I left happy, relieved and grateful to God for our positive meeting.

Chris and I wanted the Birth Mother to freely receive our love through God. Which means there were no attachments to anything. We didn’t want her to miss our intentions. And I didn’t want God to be disappointed with us. We made it very clear with our first meeting, we want what is best for the baby and the Birth Mother. Chris and I wanted God’s will to be done. Our dinner gave me the opportunity to make sure she understood.

After meeting with the Birth Mother, I quickly realized we could help her with a healthy eating program with meals prepped by me. As a personal Fitness Coach and Chef, we wanted to bring her food that she would enjoy but would also be nutrient dense. The Birth Mother agreed and the weekly meals began. The Birth Mother would send me a text that stopped me in my tracks. She wrote,”Even before the baby is born, they will be fed food from you.” I went down on my knees with love and thanksgiving.

I started a hashtag on my social media; #thebabyisstillalive. The baby remaining alive was a daily celebration for Chris and I. I know that at any moment the Birth Mother could change her mind. I also know that satan loves to place doubt in the minds of the helpless, scared and fearful. We had shared our news of adoption with a select group of Prayer Warriors all over the Country. We were excited for the prayers and they were excited to be a part of the story.

Going through adoption is a valley of emotional highs and lows. Thankful for the Trinity. God is always with us, minute by minute, Father, Son and Holy Spirit. But in times like this we cling even more closely. And we need to realize that without our Lord and Savior we are nothing, we have nothing and the outcome of doing life without God is heartbreakingly lonely.

The days turned into weeks and the weeks turned into months. We were getting sonograms, updates and daily/weekly news. And little did we know something else was happening behind the scenes.

Lord, thank you for keeping us alert, eyes wide open and giving us holy discernment. We love you so much, thank you for the days that feel so unimaginable. Please forgive us, always turn our hearts to you and you only. Remove any pride and ego. ~Amen

Part 2, there will be a Part 3.

Posted on by Kristina Knowles

The budget that…

Saved my life from more debt.

Raise your hand if you are in bad debt? Wow, look at all those hands! Ok, ok put them back down. Now raise your hand if you want to learn how to spend and save your money differently. Awesome, start today and contact me after reading this blog.

I started to “truly” immerse myself in the bible over a decade ago. And I noticed something immediately. The closer I got to God, the less money I wanted to waste. The deeper I got into reading the bible, the less money I wanted to spend on things. I learned to differentiate what I merely wanted vs. the things I truly needed.

I know what separates us spiritually is how we define prosperity and God’s blessings over our life. We think and believe the very word blessing means, lavish, expensive, dripping in diamonds, closets filled to the ceiling, gold encrusted jewelry, luxurious items. All of it and more.

I don’t want you to keep holding on to the frivolous things of the world instead of being grateful for the blessings right in front of your face. I don’t want you to pine away for unrealistic expectations of your own selfish wants. Do you see that you don’t see the pure blessings right in front of your face?

The roof over your head, or are you wanting a bigger roof? The clothes on your back, or are you wanting a shopping spree for clothes you don’t need? The car that gets your family every where, or are you wanting a more expensive car? The food on your table, or are you wanting to eat out more than eat in?

I recently had a great conversation with a person I have been mentoring with their image and spending. They were so proud that we made a fashion budget, stuck with it and was elated with the outcome. Do you want to know why? The guilt of overspending takes a toll on you, your finances and ultimately your relationship with God our Father.

I know the difference between the God who loves me and people who love me. And neither one has to do with things. You should also know that I am not perfect, no one person is. I make an effort every day to be better, we all should.

Peace be with you!

Posted on by Kristina Knowles

Happy New…

Fitness and nutrition routine for you!

Fitness and nutrition has been a daily occurrence for me. I make several decisions a day that keep me focused to staying healthy and fit. I want that for you, your family and friends.

I know now, more than ever before, I have complete and total faith in God. God keeps me focused on the right things I choose to do with my body. How is this possible, you ask? God created me, head to toe. I now know the aches and pains are a direct result of how I treat my body. I also know that when I have positive results from my Doctor visits, my sleep schedule and my food and fitness choices, God is blessing me. I know because I feel amazing.

I love my birthdays and getting older. However, in this society getting older is a curse for many. I am here to tell you that being negative about getting older, only makes you look and feel older. Change your bad/negative attitude and perspective on life in general. You will enjoy and reap the benefits of a positive outlook. Healthy mental health keeps you at peace. Raise your hand if you want peace or more peace in your life?

Food is 80% of what you feel, how you look and how much energy you have. I am here to help you change all of that for the better. Some of you are shaking your head, trust me, it’s not too late. I will blog each week about awesome fitness and nutrition examples for you to try at home. If I can do it, so can you.

And never hesitate to contact me, I am here to help you. God has the ability to bless your life far beyond and better than the dreams you have for yourself. Be open to receiving His love and guidance every day.

New YEAR, even better new YOU!!!

Posted on by Kristina Knowles

The greatest gift of all…

Is Love.

I love, love. I believe Gods love is the most amazing feeling to experience in this lifetime. And what is even more special is to experience Gods love through another human being.

I moved to Texas with my Son and my dog. I was leaving behind my family and friends. It was an easy decision to move but it was hard leaving everyone behind. My Mother and I have a close relationship. And now not being a short car drive away was going to be even harder.

If anyone knows and hears the desire to have my Mom visit, it’s my boyfriend Chris. I have met so many wonderful people and new friends in Texas. My experience has been nothing but positive. And I wish my Mom could be here to visit to see how amazing Texas is.

Well, well well little did I know that for a month Chris had something really special planned for me for my birthday. I was sitting on a bench with Chris, having the most romantic night. Chris was holding my hand, holding me, we were people watching, the night was beautiful. Then he gets a text from his friend and co-worker Doug. Doug’s wife Amie’s truck broke down while she was on her way to pick up Doug from the airport. “And”…I responded.

We got up from the bench and walked to car to go pick up Doug. I was so mad…inside. See, if you know anything about Chris, he is naturally sweet and kind. I know in my heart that he would do anything for anybody because they called him for help. So even though I was mad, upset and disappointed inside with his choice, I knew he was just helping his friend.

I gave Chris short answers and stayed mostly silent on the drive to the airport. I prayed to God the entire way there hoping God would change my heart and feelings. In some ways, I was being childish and unkind by my heart, my behavior. I even asked him at one point, why couldn’t he get an Uber?

As we pull up and wait for Doug to come out, Chris decides to go inside to get him. So now I am waiting in a car, on my birthday, at an airport by myself. Then Chris finally returns with Doug’s bag. He asked me what I thought about his bag, I responded, “I don’t care.” So then Chris asked me to get out of the car. I am still mad, I start to follow him. And then my blonde, beautiful Mother appears out from behind a column. I started to cry, scream and almost knocked her over.

Chris was kind enough to ask for my forgiveness, can you imagine? Chris is asking for my forgiveness??!!! I am the one that needed to ask him for forgiveness. I was acting like a spoiled child on their birthday. I felt absolute happiness and guilt as the same time.

Chris understood why I was acting the way I was acting but I didn’t. I know I am not perfect, but this is no way to behave period. I am blown away by Chris’ kindness, care and most importantly his action of love for me. Chris gave me the gift of love on my birthday that I will never forget for the rest of my life.  And for that I love Chris him even more.

We can all believe that love is a feeling but it is truly an action. Do you make actions of love or words of love? Words of affirmation are important but love in action is most important. You should know that I felt terrible for being selfish on my birthday towards Chris. I asked God and Chris to forgive me that night. I am a work in progress.

Thanks be to God for forgiveness and Love.

 

Posted on by Kristina Knowles

You and I are not the…

Sum total of all of our bad decisions, unfortunate mistakes or wrong choices.

Satan would love nothing more than for you to believe you are not good enough, you are a bad person, you are awful. Satan produces the type of chaos, insecurities and lies within your life that allows you to keep believing the negative things, instead of believing the good things. And with God everything in YOU is good.

Are you scratching your head asking yourself, how can this be? Are you sure Kristina? Yes, I am so positive. It is because of Jesus, He came and died on the cross for all of us. Our sins have been forgiven, He paid the ultimate price for you and me.

But without faith you may not believe anything I am writing about. Here are some examples of what you might be going through. I am here to help you see the good and bad situations you might be going through with siblings, parents, family and friends.

You might be experiencing the following:

My family and friends keep reminding me of my past failures.

My family and friends make me feel bad about myself.

My family and friends don’t seem to care about me or love me.

My family and friends call me names and make fun of me at my expense.

Instead, you might be yearning to experience the following:

I would like my family and friends to support and uplift me.

I would like my family and friends to talk to me about how I can be better and more successful.

I would like my family and friends to care about me and love me.

I would like my family and friends to speak words of affirmation and goodness into me.

I understand your confusion, it’s hard to fathom on so many levels. Society, family and friends who condemn and convict each other all day, every day. Jesus would never call you names or degrade you, why do you let the people in your life do it? The truth is God is the only Judge and Jury. Will He give us grace, mercy and forgiveness? Absolutely, He let you wake up today and read this.

Now when you find yourself wanting to rip to shreds, a persons negative past, stop. If you see someone else start to rip someone apart for their past bad behaviors, stop them.  Pray for yourself and that person. Please take a good hard look at yourself then ask yourself if you know the definition and spelling of the word: HYPOCRITE!

The sooner we start to heal from our own pain and past, we are able to heal. Don’t ever give permission to others to let them condemn you and all your hard work.

Get involved with God and get better.

 

 

Posted on by Kristina Knowles

Who said you have to…

Be like everyone else?

I think it’s incredibly important to understand, if we are honest with ourselves, that we are followers of the world and not leaders for God. More often it’s easy to be more like everyone else, blend in and not be different. To go against the grain of society, stand for what the bible says and be different, is a much more difficult task.

What does being like everyone else look like? It looks a lot like what is on television, in the media, entertainment, music videos that doesn’t represent God or the bible. It can also look a lot like trying to keep up with everyone around you. You will water down the scripture to make it work for you, instead of telling the truth.

What does it look like when you don’t look like everyone else? You stand up for what is holy, right and just on an hourly basis; daily. You are less about the world and more about everything that has to do with Jesus. You want the absolute best for everyone, including people who have wronged you or someone else. And you are not afraid to speak the truth of the bible to the people you interact with or meet.

I want to live in this world but not be a part of this world. I want to want less and need less so I can give more of me and my time to those who need me. I want to change the world for the better and not the worse. I want to fill my body with good things so I can be productive, happy and joyful. I want to continue to be happy, filled with peace and spread love.

We need more Leaders for God, so we can change the world and make it a better place to live, love and grow. I see a lot of complaining, I see a lot of pain and I see a lot of hurting going on. If you choose to ignore problems and issues within yourself, your family or the block you live on, you are part of an overwhelming problem in our society. It’s the prIde problem, yes the “I” is capitalized for a reason.

I, I , I..I can’t be bothered. I can’t be involved. I can’t help. I, I, I, I only care about me.

May God have mercy on us.

 

Posted on by Kristina Knowles · 2 Comments

Thanks to Ancestry.com…

A family is reunited with their long lost sister that was put up for adoption.

I recently met 3 sisters, 2 of which knew each other their whole life. They were meeting for the first time, I couldn’t of been more excited for them but I had questions. From my understanding the mother and father had 7 children and put this baby girl up for adoption. Can you imagine, why this sister, why this daughter, why, why, why? I wanted more answers but I had to let them spend time with each other.

People always fascinate me with their decisions. What church to go to? What school to go to? Where to work and why? Which person to marry? How many children? Where to live? What to wear? What to eat? Which team to root for? Who to like? Who to love? Who to hate?

I don’t know why these parents decided to put this daughter up for adoption but despite that the siblings found each other because of Ancestry.com. They trusted each other enough to meet somewhere in between to see if this was real. I was very moved by their story. I am positive this is one of thousands of stories being made because of the data being entered by millions of people around the world.

And if you are wondering if they looked alike or had similar habits or hobbies? Yes, yes, yes, even though they didn’t grow up together she favored one sister in facial features big time and favored the other sister in personality and some facial features. Especially when they smiled you could see it and they were smiling a lot.

If I woke up one morning to find out I had a long lost sister, I would be so excited and blessed. Unfortunately my mother has insured me this will not be happening, oh well a girl can pray. However, God is such an amazing God. He let this amazing meeting take place. It was beautiful to watch and experience.

I am so grateful these women shared their story with me, I was blown away with them letting me ask as many questions as I did. We even joked about the flip side of meeting a long lost loved one. Is this a scam, do they want or need money or worse are looking for organs? Truth be told everyone should put the proper precautionary measures in place before embarking on meeting anyone for the first time. I would also pray to God for discernment and guidance.

Thanks be to God

Posted on by Kristina Knowles

She is totally and completely…

Loved by God!

November 1st is All Saints day, a Holy day of obligation at my church. All Saints‘ Day, also called All Hallows’ Day, Hallowmas, or Feast of All Saints, in the Christian church, a day commemorating all the saints of the church, both known and unknown, celebrated on November 1 in the Western churches and on the first Sunday after Pentecost in the Eastern churches.

I am always grateful to be able to attend Mass and Holy days of obligation alike. As I walked in for All Saints day, I genuflected and sat down. Not paying much attention to anyone sitting around me because Mass was starting, I wanted to be concentrating and focused on the word.

Out of the blue, I heard this sweet little laugh a pew away. I looked into the direction and saw this beautiful black baby girl. I would guess she was 5 months old, cute little Afro with a bright red headband with a bow, a chambray ruffled shirt and grey leggings. Omygosh, she is glowing, she is adorable and she is loved.

I started to then focus and see her parents and 3 siblings all vying to hold her, even I wanted to hold her. It was clearly her sisters turn to hold her, she started to feed her with a bottle. And her older brother was keeping close watch over the feeding and a younger brother watching as well. All the while Mom and Dad lovingly looked at each other.

This beautiful black baby girl was clearly adopted by this family. And clearly God was all over this, it was beautiful to watch and experience. I started to cry with tears of joy to watch the abundance of Gods love right here in front of me at church. I wish I could have talked to them to let them know how wonderful it is to watch Gods love in action.

It hurts me when people claim they shouldn’t go to church or they don’t want to go to church. God wants us to go to church for this very reason, so we can see or feel something we didn’t expect to experience. I am open to God, I want what he wants for me every day.

As Mass came to a close, the little baby looked at me and we started to play peek-a-boo, she waved to me and she said, “Hi!” I was beaming for that little baby because you could see God, feel the Holy Spirit and experience Jesus all at once.

Please reconsider finding a church based on the teachings of the bible. We are all broken people trying to make sense of this broken world. However, with God we are saved and we can expect the promises He has made in the bible. I have experienced them, I know you will too.

Peace be with you.

Posted on by Kristina Knowles

Two years ago today I…

Witnessed and intervened on a beating against a woman by a thug, November 2, 2015 in College Park, Maryland.

I remember it like it was today still fresh in my mind. I was at work in my office on the phone. Several of my co-workers were looking out the window, then all of sudden one of them came in and said something bad is happening out in the parking lot. I instantly got off the phone and proceeded outside.

Have you ever seen an elbow cock back and fourth in a blow to a body part or face of a woman? Have you seen an arm of a man swing up to the face of woman, like an uppercut? Or have you seen a man not care that a stranger is pulling him off a woman while beating her?

On the scene you had your videographer, your silent and in shock bystander and everyone else just walking by. I was told that 5-7 men walked by without stopping to help her. I couldn’t believe my eyes.

I approached the situation calmly, I reached into the car to speak and get the thug off the woman. He got in a few more punches before getting out of her car. The thug was huffing and puffing, wearing a wife beater(you can’t make this stuff up) he tried to convince me that what he was doing was okay, she deserved it. I am positive some video game, rap song or rap video gave him permission to do this, or perhaps a family member or friend.

After my brief discussion with him, the thug ran off.  I instantly went over to the female. Her face, her eyes and body all badly bruised and bleeding. I ran into my job to get her ice and towels to start the healing, the physical healing. We needed a private place to go, we agreed to meet inside the public bathroom at Potbelly’s. I ran back with ice and towels and realized she just saw herself for the first time bruised and battered.

I started to cry because she didn’t want to wait around for the police. A man has destroyed this woman’s face, spirit and ability to think straight. I started to reason with her to no avail. I told her that I loved her, but more importantly that God loved her too. I prayed over her and went back to work. Then I watched her get back into her car and drive away, confirming she wasn’t waiting for the police.

Do I know what happened before the beating began, no. However, I know it’s wrong to beat up a woman. I also prayed for the thug, hurt people hurt people. And truth be told God loves us all, even in our most deepest darkest moments He loves us.

I wonder from time to time what ever happened to her, I pray she is doing great things. I also hope the thug is no longer a thug and changed his ways. As a reminder to you, always be the shelter in someones life, you might be the only one who comes to their rescue.

May God have mercy on our souls.

Posted on by Kristina Knowles

Dear You…

I am so sorry that you were hurt at the hands or verbal abuse of someone you love, trusted, tricked by and care about. I am so sorry that they hurt you because they are hurting. I am so sorry that instead of asking for help they decided to hurt you. I am so sorry that instead of being a good human being they decided to be mean, unkind and deplorable. You didn’t deserve it, it’s not your fault and you must get the help you need.

Now…

I know this might be hard for you but please forgive them. Please show them the grace and mercy they need. Forgiving the abuser blesses you. I know that might be confusing but it’s true. Healing begins, health beginning to be restored over time. Holding on to the darkness of the abuse doesn’t allow God’s love or light in. And that doesn’t help you at all. For anyone that has been involved, witness or been the receiver of Domestic abuse, physical or verbal…I am so sorry. You didn’t deserve it, it was never your fault.

And if you were the parent, friend, family member or neighbor that witnessed the abuse and didn’t get help or stop the abuse, you are an Accomplice and you need help too. I don’t think there is anything worse than watching someone you love stand by and let the abuse take place.

I believe if enough of us care about helping those who have been hurt, things will change for the better. Instead it looks as though we continue to protect people that don’t deserve protection but deserve to be confronted. The first step in recovery is acknowledging the problem, the offense and the pain the abuser inflicted. Then true healing and restoration can begin.

As National Domestic Violence Month comes to an end tonight, unfortunately the truth is the abuse will continue unless we take a personal stand. See it, report it. Hear it, report it. Told it, report, it.

Remember if we keep sweeping these people and their offenses under the proverbial rug, no one heals…NO ONE!!!

Praying for Peace!