Posted on by Kristina Knowles

Have you ever had an unexpected…

Best. Day. Ever with your Former spouse. I did, this past summer.

I came home to Maryland to spend time with my son while he was on leave from the military. I was having an amazing lunch with my Spiritual Mentor in Washington, D.C. After lunch, I headed back to my car suddenly I got a call from my son. I was so happy to hear from him, he invited me to meet him in Annapolis to jet ski. I jumped at the opportunity and headed to TJ Maxx to purchase a swimsuit first.

I made it to the pier in Annapolis where we planned to meet. I changed and sat patiently waiting for my son. A few minutes later I got a phone call. Hi, Mom. Hi, Griffin, Mom? Yes, Griffin! Can Dad come jet skiing with us? Of course, Griffin. But Griffin, are you sure he wants to come? Yes, Mom. Ok Griffin, see you both soon. Bye Mom, I love you. I love you too, Griffin. See you soon, click.

Shortly after that phone call, Griffin and his Dad showed up to the pier where we would all go jet skiing. There was a significant wait time for the jet ski’s, so we went to have lunch. And after lunch and jet skiing we all went to Griffin’s Dad’s home near by. We shared a steak, a Ledo’s pizza and amazing conversation. It was a happy, healthy day and all deemed so by God.

Griffin was able to bask in the enjoyment of his Mother and Father spend the day together in right relationship with each other after 12 years of divorce. It was something I had prayed for with my Priest, Father Joe 11 years earlier. I have been on my knees lifting up  prayers to God for a day like this one. In recent years, my relationship with my former spouse was cordial sprinkled with frustration in disagreements at times. Never perfect but we would always show up and be present at Griffin’s sporting events, ceremonies and birthdays the important things.

I share this beautiful story, trust me it was so beautiful, with you because our world continues to break every day. Our children are growing up in broken homes. Angry, ugly, mean, homes were people have lost their common sense. Children are growing up to be fractured adults from the brokenness of these divorces. Families everywhere continue to divorce, the very foundation of the family is cracking right before our eyes. The media, movies, television and reality television have made this nightmare of divorce “normal.” There is nothing “normal” about divorce, God hates divorce. Give in, throw in the towel, it’s all about me, not you, not the children but the “me” mentality. Instead of being about God first.

Lord, Father God, forgive us please!!! We are so sorry Lord, forgive us. Help our hearts to be Christ centered focus and NOT self centered. Stop the madness of the “me” and let us be about YOU Lord. Help us see our family and friends who struggle with their marriage so we can help them Lord. Help us send in reinforcements, Father God. Please rescue our families from the evil one. Let us live in a state of gratitude, mercy and grace. Take what the enemy wants for evil and make it good God. Restore the brokenness, the confusion, the hate, the bitterness. Let us be soldiers for you in love. Give us the discernment to help each other instead of tearing each other down. Thank you Lord, for everything even the hard times. In Jesus’s name we pray…Amen.

Posted on by Kristina Knowles

When you decide that addiction…

Is more meaningful than being a parent or protecting your children-tragedy. I was struck by a story I came across that feels more like a nightmare. A mother who knew her addiction and all the issues she had. A husband who she let back in, even though he wasn’t a safe or quality person.

The result was, after a day of diving into their addiction together, their 14 day old infant would be found dead in a wooded area right next to their home. The couple was found guilty. Neither one pleads guilty, in fact, both say that they didn’t do it, but they hope the authorities find the person or persons who did.

The Judge said something that was meaningful to me, as a Mother. The Judge said that he didn’t believe the Mother quite understood what being a Mother meant. The Judge also remarked that a Mama bear in the wild would protect her bear cubs at any cost, even at the cost of her own life. And that made me think on a deeper level. The Mama bear is 100% sober and connected to her responsibility-her cubs.  The woman I am referencing is battling her addiction only connected to-her self.

The wife was aware of his countless infractions with the law since he was a teenager to now, as an adult. The Mother decided to be with him anyway. The Mother knew he was not a kind or safe person for her or their children, she decided to be with him anyway. The Mother was warned by family, she decided to be with him anyway.

This story transcends on so many levels, like a cautionary tale. Addiction is something we should actively avoid at all cost, every day. Letting unsafe people into our lives and our children’s lives doesn’t make sense, especially if we know better. And children are a BLESSING, never to be discarded or hurt.

Have you ever heard or read a story like this? Unfortunately, it is more common than uncommon. We need to pray to God for these people, even though their story might upset us. Also, if you suspect someone you know is struggling with an addiction help them get help.

A redemption story would be absolutely beautiful for everyone involved with a Goldy ending.

 

 

 

 

Posted on by Kristina Knowles

Who said you have to…

Be like everyone else?

I think it’s incredibly important to understand, if we are honest with ourselves, that we are followers of the world and not leaders for God. More often it’s easy to be more like everyone else, blend in and not be different. To go against the grain of society, stand for what the bible says and be different, is a much more difficult task.

What does being like everyone else look like? It looks a lot like what is on television, in the media, entertainment, music videos that doesn’t represent God or the bible. It can also look a lot like trying to keep up with everyone around you. You will water down the scripture to make it work for you, instead of telling the truth.

What does it look like when you don’t look like everyone else? You stand up for what is holy, right and just on an hourly basis; daily. You are less about the world and more about everything that has to do with Jesus. You want the absolute best for everyone, including people who have wronged you or someone else. And you are not afraid to speak the truth of the bible to the people you interact with or meet.

I want to live in this world but not be a part of this world. I want to want less and need less so I can give more of me and my time to those who need me. I want to change the world for the better and not the worse. I want to fill my body with good things so I can be productive, happy and joyful. I want to continue to be happy, filled with peace and spread love.

We need more Leaders for God, so we can change the world and make it a better place to live, love and grow. I see a lot of complaining, I see a lot of pain and I see a lot of hurting going on. If you choose to ignore problems and issues within yourself, your family or the block you live on, you are part of an overwhelming problem in our society. It’s the prIde problem, yes the “I” is capitalized for a reason.

I, I , I..I can’t be bothered. I can’t be involved. I can’t help. I, I, I, I only care about me.

May God have mercy on us.

 

Posted on by Kristina Knowles

Two years ago today I…

Witnessed and intervened on a beating against a woman by a thug, November 2, 2015 in College Park, Maryland.

I remember it like it was today still fresh in my mind. I was at work in my office on the phone. Several of my co-workers were looking out the window, then all of sudden one of them came in and said something bad is happening out in the parking lot. I instantly got off the phone and proceeded outside.

Have you ever seen an elbow cock back and fourth in a blow to a body part or face of a woman? Have you seen an arm of a man swing up to the face of woman, like an uppercut? Or have you seen a man not care that a stranger is pulling him off a woman while beating her?

On the scene you had your videographer, your silent and in shock bystander and everyone else just walking by. I was told that 5-7 men walked by without stopping to help her. I couldn’t believe my eyes.

I approached the situation calmly, I reached into the car to speak and get the thug off the woman. He got in a few more punches before getting out of her car. The thug was huffing and puffing, wearing a wife beater(you can’t make this stuff up) he tried to convince me that what he was doing was okay, she deserved it. I am positive some video game, rap song or rap video gave him permission to do this, or perhaps a family member or friend.

After my brief discussion with him, the thug ran off.  I instantly went over to the female. Her face, her eyes and body all badly bruised and bleeding. I ran into my job to get her ice and towels to start the healing, the physical healing. We needed a private place to go, we agreed to meet inside the public bathroom at Potbelly’s. I ran back with ice and towels and realized she just saw herself for the first time bruised and battered.

I started to cry because she didn’t want to wait around for the police. A man has destroyed this woman’s face, spirit and ability to think straight. I started to reason with her to no avail. I told her that I loved her, but more importantly that God loved her too. I prayed over her and went back to work. Then I watched her get back into her car and drive away, confirming she wasn’t waiting for the police.

Do I know what happened before the beating began, no. However, I know it’s wrong to beat up a woman. I also prayed for the thug, hurt people hurt people. And truth be told God loves us all, even in our most deepest darkest moments He loves us.

I wonder from time to time what ever happened to her, I pray she is doing great things. I also hope the thug is no longer a thug and changed his ways. As a reminder to you, always be the shelter in someones life, you might be the only one who comes to their rescue.

May God have mercy on our souls.

Posted on by Kristina Knowles

Our society doesn’t understand…

The true meaning of Love.

I enjoy talking to people especially about cultivating healthy relationships with themselves and others. And more often than not, people don’t understand the true meaning of love. Webster’s Dictionary defines love 6 ways.

1. a quality or feeling of strong or constant affection for and dedication to another

2. a:  attraction based on sexual desire, the strong affection and tenderness felt by lovers

2. b:  a beloved person

3. a:  warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion

3. b: the object of attachment or devotion

4. a score of zero in tennis

Webster’s Dictionary is wrong, completely and totally wrong. Unfortunately there is no mention of God, He is the very meaning of Love. He himself created the definition and Webster doesn’t even mention Him once!? Now you can see why I made my claim about society not knowing the true meaning of love. And to be clear some truly know the true meaning of Love but those are in the minority.

John affirms that “God is love” ( 1 John 4:8 ). God does not merely love; He is love. Everything that God does flows from His love.

When we take our attention off of the definition of man’s version of Love and set our sights on God. We can truly love, love each other the way God has instructed us to love. When we truly love like God, we follow the commandments. We don’t lead others to sin, do harm or do things that will enable someone to ruin their lives. Love is wanting the absolute best for someone else.

Love is hard, we can be so selfish. Sometimes we need to be in total control of things, so much so we lose sight on the important things. We need to focus on things that are holy, right and just. Love can be scary, fear makes us do things that are not proper. Never love out of fear, that is not real or good. True love is when you can be at peace with your relationship with God.

The entertainment industry has done an amazing job of hurting us with lies. If I believed that all of us went to a movie, listened to a song or watched a television show and left the experience at the door-fantastic. However, that is not the case at all. How do I know? Life is imitating art day in and day out because of what we see, what we watch and what we listen to. Be wise and careful what you fill your mind with, even more important be diligent about what your children are watching and listening to as well.

Love is God, He wants the absolute best for us. God should be the over arching pinnacle of love in your life.He also gives us free will which enables us to show Him how much we love Him back. There is not ONE person on this earth that I want to see harmed, hurt or suffer, not one. It’s not our job as humans to hurt each other, our job is to love. Satan relishes in the hurts of everyone, how sick and sad. And what is even more sick, we give Satan permission. Make today the day you start to understand and read about God’s love, then start to live in it.

Thanks be to God’s love

 

 

Posted on by Kristina Knowles

Dear You…

I am so sorry that you were hurt at the hands or verbal abuse of someone you love, trusted, tricked by and care about. I am so sorry that they hurt you because they are hurting. I am so sorry that instead of asking for help they decided to hurt you. I am so sorry that instead of being a good human being they decided to be mean, unkind and deplorable. You didn’t deserve it, it’s not your fault and you must get the help you need.

Now…

I know this might be hard for you but please forgive them. Please show them the grace and mercy they need. Forgiving the abuser blesses you. I know that might be confusing but it’s true. Healing begins, health beginning to be restored over time. Holding on to the darkness of the abuse doesn’t allow God’s love or light in. And that doesn’t help you at all. For anyone that has been involved, witness or been the receiver of Domestic abuse, physical or verbal…I am so sorry. You didn’t deserve it, it was never your fault.

And if you were the parent, friend, family member or neighbor that witnessed the abuse and didn’t get help or stop the abuse, you are an Accomplice and you need help too. I don’t think there is anything worse than watching someone you love stand by and let the abuse take place.

I believe if enough of us care about helping those who have been hurt, things will change for the better. Instead it looks as though we continue to protect people that don’t deserve protection but deserve to be confronted. The first step in recovery is acknowledging the problem, the offense and the pain the abuser inflicted. Then true healing and restoration can begin.

As National Domestic Violence Month comes to an end tonight, unfortunately the truth is the abuse will continue unless we take a personal stand. See it, report it. Hear it, report it. Told it, report, it.

Remember if we keep sweeping these people and their offenses under the proverbial rug, no one heals…NO ONE!!!

Praying for Peace!

Posted on by Kristina Knowles

Sowing seeds of goodness or…

Sadness, which one do you do?

I recently met a girl who I think is smart, beautiful and adorable. We were getting along great until one day recently she told me her Mother let’s her underage drink. I was so hurt, sad and shocked. I think she could see it on my face. She then immediately defended her Mother by saying,”My Mother is teaching me to be responsible by letting me drink alcohol now.” Huh!?

I instantly went into Momma Bear mode and had a heart to heart with her. “Megan” was so upset with me, she got angry and mad. How dare I care about her? How dare I take the time to explain most alcoholics started drinking alcohol at her age? How dare I go against her Mother, the very woman that raised her? The conversation didn’t end well. And you should know that it didn’t end well because she was still hung over from the night before.

“Megan” wasn’t interested in hearing what I was trying to say. She wanted to continue to live this lifestyle that her Mother gave her permission to live so conveniently. It broke my heart hearing her defend the trappings of this world, that more often than not, get out of hand or control for so many.

Our conversation lead me to another great question, what type of permission are we giving our children to live out? Are we giving them a blind eye to certain bad behaviors that will manifest later in life and ruin our children? Or are we sowing seeds of goodness and greatness into them? Do we even know the difference?

Let’s all make an effort to make the necessary healthy changes for ourselves and especially for our children today. We need to clean house of all the bad habits and hang-ups that we have displayed to our children. There is no better way to make the world a better place than to first make “our” world a better place.

Peace be with you!

Posted on by Kristina Knowles

Suicide is an expression of…

Self hatred.

Wow, what a horrible thought to think that people who want to take their life on some level hate themselves. And it’s probably safe to say, they hate their lives as well. Have you thought about how it might feel to hate yourself?

Do you know where self hatred comes from? I will share with you a few prevalent places. Home, the very place that is “suppose” to be safe, encouraging and happy. A Father, Mother, sibling or any other family member can attack another family member at any given moment. We should lift up each other, we should speak words of encouragement into each other and love each other with all we have to give.

Outside the home, children, friends, neighbors have an even greater influence on our life. You will either surround yourself with people who uplift  you, love you and encourage you. Or you will surround yourself with people who want the absolute worst for you, will encourage you to sin against God, discourage you and degrade you with mean words about your features, body image and your thoughts/ideas.

I am constantly thinking about other people, places and things. It’s just been my personality, very instinctual. I have come across a lot of people who have low self esteem but project outwardly a high sense of regard for themselves. It’s fascinating for me to watch, but it breaks my heart. However, it doesn’t serve anyone to pretend to be happy if you are really not happy or to suffer alone in silence.

I believe we must check in with our friends and family more often. We need to let them know we have good boundaries in place for good things to happen. It’s good to be a strong and supportive sounding board but don’t be a sponge. And always recommend good Christian therapy or counseling to those in your life who might be suffering alone.

 

Posted on by Kristina Knowles

To pick up or to not pick up…

Your dogs poop.

Please just pick it up! I am beyond boggled by any individual that rescues, purchases or fosters a dog and refuses to pick up their own dogs poop-mind blowing. I believe just like the people who believe it’s okay to leave shopping carts anywhere and anywhere-completely selfish.

While walking Bentley today, I was stopped by a person who was amazed to see that Bentley poops into a bag…lol. I know, it’s a sight to be seen. Way before I moved to Texas with my Son and my dog Bentley, Bentley was trained to poop into a recycled grocery bag.

I don’t mind being confronted now and again by someone who has just watched Bentley poop into a bag. I live on a golf course, we see a lot of traffic, people are amazed. Then it dawned on me, why don’t people stop and ask the people who don’t pick up their dog’s poop?

Where I live, it’s the rule, pick up your dog’s poop. The city where I registered Bentley, it’s the rule, pick up your dogs poop. You may not believe it’s a big deal,”It’s just dog poop.” I’ll tell you why it’s a big deal. Once again, we are teaching our children how not to follow the rules, how not to take care of our dogs and how not to care-period. And with that, you will start to erode away good principles we as a society put forth to make the world a better place.

So let me make this clear, you have a responsibility to pick up your dog’s poop. If you don’t, you are a selfish, uncaring, lazy and inconsiderate law/rule breaker. Here’s the good news, you can start picking up your pets poop today. And you can apologize to your family for not making it a priority to be a better role model. Make today, the day!!!

Posted on by Kristina Knowles

Are you the Victim or Victor…

Of your life?

 

I pray you are the Victor and you are living a life with joy, peace and happiness for God. And if you are the Victim, I pray if you are reading this you will make an effort to read this entire blog to no longer be the Victim but the Victor. Let me show you the difference.

A Victim will constantly complain about almost everything in life, even down to the food served to them at a fast food restaurant. Victims live in the past of their hurt and refuse to heal or see a therapist. A Victim will relive their unhealthy past to everyone they meet, even relive it in their own head over and over again. And you can’t even be who God wants you to be because you are so focused on your dysfunctional past. You can’t be in a healthy relationship with yourself because you are so focused on your past. Since you can’t be healthy with yourself, you certainly can’t be in a relationship with another person. Shocker, right!?

When someone is living in their past dysfunction, I like to call that a dust storm. And when there is a dust storm, you can see but not clearly. And until the dust storm settles in your life and mind you can’t be who God ultimately created you to be.  Easy right!? Not so fast, easy if you truly want to be healed. Most Victim’s love to play the Victim, it’s like a role. People expect them to be negative, melancholy, angry and or sad, it’s their normal but not normal.

So when you want to stop playing the madness of the Victim role these are the things that will start to happen almost immediately when you want to be the Victor in your own life:

  1. You will no longer bring up the past hurt and chaos.
  2. You will no longer complain about everything.
  3. Your heart will heal and become happier, day by day.
  4. You will no longer hurt.
  5. You will no longer play the role of Victim.
  6. You will no longer use drugs, alcohol, retail therapy or food to make you fake happy or high.
  7. You will stop blaming the past for your present or future.
  8. The people around you will notice how different you are for the better, not worse.
  9. You will notice that you will begin to love yourself and essentially love others.
  10. You will get closer to God.

The Victor is the goal, Satan loves his Victims. Satan whispers the bad memories of your past to bring you down, not lift you up. Satan would love nothing more to ruin you and your family. We have the power of God to rebuke Satan and his evil. Remember God loves you and me, He is constantly pulling for us each and every day.