Posted on by Kristina Knowles

Have you ever had an unexpected…

Best. Day. Ever with your Former spouse. I did, this past summer.

I came home to Maryland to spend time with my son while he was on leave from the military. I was having an amazing lunch with my Spiritual Mentor in Washington, D.C. After lunch, I headed back to my car suddenly I got a call from my son. I was so happy to hear from him, he invited me to meet him in Annapolis to jet ski. I jumped at the opportunity and headed to TJ Maxx to purchase a swimsuit first.

I made it to the pier in Annapolis where we planned to meet. I changed and sat patiently waiting for my son. A few minutes later I got a phone call. Hi, Mom. Hi, Griffin, Mom? Yes, Griffin! Can Dad come jet skiing with us? Of course, Griffin. But Griffin, are you sure he wants to come? Yes, Mom. Ok Griffin, see you both soon. Bye Mom, I love you. I love you too, Griffin. See you soon, click.

Shortly after that phone call, Griffin and his Dad showed up to the pier where we would all go jet skiing. There was a significant wait time for the jet ski’s, so we went to have lunch. And after lunch and jet skiing we all went to Griffin’s Dad’s home near by. We shared a steak, a Ledo’s pizza and amazing conversation. It was a happy, healthy day and all deemed so by God.

Griffin was able to bask in the enjoyment of his Mother and Father spend the day together in right relationship with each other after 12 years of divorce. It was something I had prayed for with my Priest, Father Joe 11 years earlier. I have been on my knees lifting up  prayers to God for a day like this one. In recent years, my relationship with my former spouse was cordial sprinkled with frustration in disagreements at times. Never perfect but we would always show up and be present at Griffin’s sporting events, ceremonies and birthdays the important things.

I share this beautiful story, trust me it was so beautiful, with you because our world continues to break every day. Our children are growing up in broken homes. Angry, ugly, mean, homes were people have lost their common sense. Children are growing up to be fractured adults from the brokenness of these divorces. Families everywhere continue to divorce, the very foundation of the family is cracking right before our eyes. The media, movies, television and reality television have made this nightmare of divorce “normal.” There is nothing “normal” about divorce, God hates divorce. Give in, throw in the towel, it’s all about me, not you, not the children but the “me” mentality. Instead of being about God first.

Lord, Father God, forgive us please!!! We are so sorry Lord, forgive us. Help our hearts to be Christ centered focus and NOT self centered. Stop the madness of the “me” and let us be about YOU Lord. Help us see our family and friends who struggle with their marriage so we can help them Lord. Help us send in reinforcements, Father God. Please rescue our families from the evil one. Let us live in a state of gratitude, mercy and grace. Take what the enemy wants for evil and make it good God. Restore the brokenness, the confusion, the hate, the bitterness. Let us be soldiers for you in love. Give us the discernment to help each other instead of tearing each other down. Thank you Lord, for everything even the hard times. In Jesus’s name we pray…Amen.

Posted on by Kristina Knowles

The silly and unnecessary…

Games we play.

Wouldn’t it be great if we could be real and honest with our thoughts and feelings? I feel like people would rather play games than be honest. And if you don’t know already, playing games is a form of deception. Deception is lying and lying is wrong.

How did emotional game playing become so popular? Why don’t we call out the other person for playing games? And why do we settle for mediocre relationships with people who want to play games? It’s because on some level we are too tired to care or we have let it become normal to be treated this way. Or worse, maybe you don’t even know you are being played.

My parents, mostly my Dad and my Step Father Robert, taught me to be clear, direct and honest. If you’ve ever met either one of them or both you would see two completely different men but both were in the Military. You can’t be playing games or be vague in the military. However, lots of people are playing games in every day life and it doesn’t create safe or healthy relationships.

Let me tell you what is the worse kind of game playing, when it’s a family member. Family takes on a different definition for everyone. I would hope that your family is a safe, loving, respectful and caring group of people. Unfortunately, this is not the case for everyone but it’s a start. If you have a poor relationship with your family/loved ones, it’s time to make an effort to fix it and mend the brokenness. When family members play games with other family members there is an area of hurt, pain or dysfunction present. It’s so important to break down the barriers, be forgiving and mend the hurt.

The Five signs you are being played:

  1. Unclear conversations that are meaningless in order to avoid a real conversation
  2. Questions that are not answered with a direct answer
  3. Vague responses
  4. No meaningful connections, keeping relationship at a distance
  5. Deception, deceit and lying.

God never wired us to hurt each other, He commanded us to love and help each other. It’s  important that you change your life today, no more games that people play. In fact, contact each and every person in your life that play games, tell them that you are on to them and it’s…

Game OVER!!!!

 

Posted on by Kristina Knowles

A gift that came out of…

God’s plan.

I recently came upon a very cute and adorable picture of my son and his childhood friend, Erica. The two of them look so happy, innocent and full of joy. Griffin and Erica were always up to something, lots of laughing and plotting. I always enjoyed watching them have fun being children.

We were blessed to have met Erica’s family, Kristin and I became best friends. We had so much in common, our families enjoyed each other. When we got the news they were moving to Kentucky we were so disappointed but excited they were moving on to bigger and better things.

After they moved, Griffin and I felt a great sense of loss. How do you prepare children for loss of any kind? You offer support, love and care while you mend the hurt. We also did something else, we planned a road trip to Kentucky. We left with excitement and anticipation.

As the years went by, we tried to stay in touch and see each other whenever we could. Our lives and schedules got more and more busy as Erica and Griffin got older. It’s to be expected but still hard and we missed our friends. But the story doesn’t end there…

Griffin decided he would be going into the Air Force, February 2017. I knew it might be coming but we kept it a secret until he was sure. And then one day I was reading my news-feed on Facebook that Erica had joined the Air Force and would be in BMT at the exact same time Griffin would be there. I started to weep with shock and joy.

I am proud to report that Griffin and Erica graduated from the Air Force on the same day just like they did so many years ago in preschool. After graduation we sat down for lunch and caught up. We reminisced about all the shenanigans Griffin and Erica got into while friends in Gainesville, Virginia. Thank God for unbelievable surprises of joy!

Kristin and I could not have planned this if we had tried. God is so good to me, so good to all of us. I don’t question God, I don’t have to. He shows up every day and reveals Himself to me, for you too. We have to be open to receiving Him on His terms and not our own. It’s better, safe and awesome…I promise.

Posted on by Kristina Knowles

New York & Company…

Is an awesome clothing store for women from sizes to 0 to 18!

 

I recently found a $20 rewards certificate that I had not used but was about to expire. I was running errands and it just so happened a New York & Company was in my sight. I suddenly stumbled upon a major sale that was going on. If you know me, you will know I need nothing but I had a $20 reward certificate that was burning a hole in my pocket.

Then from across the store I saw a beautiful rack of dresses that had a sign with the price of dresses…$16.99. I almost fell over, beautiful dresses and an amazing price?! Ahhh, yes! I found and purchased 1 super cute dress with change to spare. The dress is perfect for the hot weather of Texas, my size, beautiful blue and a very comfortable material.

And this is why I love New York & Company, this company has corned the market on affordable, beautiful clothing for almost every female alive. I could literally find something perfect for every women I know in my life. New York & Company offers an on-line store as well. I have experienced on-line shopping and the in store experience. I happen to like both for different reasons.

I also adore the costume jewelry and accessory line as well. Over the years that I have shopped at New York & Company, I always seem to get a compliment on what I am wearing. So not only do I applaud the cuts, styles, colors and pricing, I also enjoy receiving praises on my clothing choices from New York & Company. One more to remember I notice they offer different discounts for the amazing women making a difference in this world like the military, nurses and school teachers. And even though New York & Company has amazing deals and discounts, I love the special shout out to these professions.

Great job New York & Company, great job!!!

 

Posted on by Kristina Knowles

Please heed my warning…


Cherish every moment you have at this very minute with your children. Learn and don’t repeat the bad times, get out as much as you can from those horrible moments. Talk up and encourage the loving, nice times and reminisce often on the good things. Do this so you know how to be truly grateful and know when to celebrate your accomplishments and learn from your mistakes.

Never take your children for granted. Looking back with no regrets at the life you decided to have with your child or children is more rewarding than any job, any promotion or amount of money this world can give you.

Not too long ago my Son graduated from Kindergarten, then High School and just recently I went to Lackland Air Force Base to watch him graduate from Basic Military Training. Just so you know, there is nothing BASIC about BMT, in fact, it broke him and built him back up. My Son is not the Son I said good-bye to months before he entered his agreement to The United States Air Force. I am beyond proud of him and his recent accomplishments. And just because he is different, it’s a good different.

However, I am sitting here wondering where did all the time go. I mean, I read about this sort of thing and talked with my Mother about it but to actually go through it is different and a bit surreal. Real hard is more like it. The last 20 years flew by. He is a boy becoming a man at high speed. Not sure if he or I are ready for this but it’s happening whether we like it or not.

The good news is I planted seeds in him so long ago I was not worried or concerned. And I will continue to plant good seeds in him. We should, as a society, plant good seeds in all the children of this world those especially close to us.

So please remember, the amount of quality time we chose to spend with our children while they are small and impressionable is so very important. It’s the most important job we have to fulfill. Like God, He is always with us. Our children need to know that no matter what we will love them. Now that doesn’t mean we have to agree with their life choices but we must love them like God loves us…without conditions. Even when we sin, God loves us. Even on our worse day, God loves us.

Have an awesome day!