Posted on by Kristina Knowles

Are you the Victim or Victor…

Of your life?

 

I pray you are the Victor and you are living a life with joy, peace and happiness for God. And if you are the Victim, I pray if you are reading this you will make an effort to read this entire blog to no longer be the Victim but the Victor. Let me show you the difference.

A Victim will constantly complain about almost everything in life, even down to the food served to them at a fast food restaurant. Victims live in the past of their hurt and refuse to heal or see a therapist. A Victim will relive their unhealthy past to everyone they meet, even relive it in their own head over and over again. And you can’t even be who God wants you to be because you are so focused on your dysfunctional past. You can’t be in a healthy relationship with yourself because you are so focused on your past. Since you can’t be healthy with yourself, you certainly can’t be in a relationship with another person. Shocker, right!?

When someone is living in their past dysfunction, I like to call that a dust storm. And when there is a dust storm, you can see but not clearly. And until the dust storm settles in your life and mind you can’t be who God ultimately created you to be.  Easy right!? Not so fast, easy if you truly want to be healed. Most Victim’s love to play the Victim, it’s like a role. People expect them to be negative, melancholy, angry and or sad, it’s their normal but not normal.

So when you want to stop playing the madness of the Victim role these are the things that will start to happen almost immediately when you want to be the Victor in your own life:

  1. You will no longer bring up the past hurt and chaos.
  2. You will no longer complain about everything.
  3. Your heart will heal and become happier, day by day.
  4. You will no longer hurt.
  5. You will no longer play the role of Victim.
  6. You will no longer use drugs, alcohol, retail therapy or food to make you fake happy or high.
  7. You will stop blaming the past for your present or future.
  8. The people around you will notice how different you are for the better, not worse.
  9. You will notice that you will begin to love yourself and essentially love others.
  10. You will get closer to God.

The Victor is the goal, Satan loves his Victims. Satan whispers the bad memories of your past to bring you down, not lift you up. Satan would love nothing more to ruin you and your family. We have the power of God to rebuke Satan and his evil. Remember God loves you and me, He is constantly pulling for us each and every day.

 

 

Posted on by Kristina Knowles

The night I went to jail…

To minister to an Inmate.

I was so confused to why this person was in jail after receiving a phone call one morning. So, I wanted to make sure what I was allowed to bring(bible) and wear. I contacted the Chaplain of the jail before my visit just to be prepared.

When I arrived to the jail, I was in a line of Attorneys, friends and family members. The welcome/waiting center of the jail was cold and unwelcoming. I checked in with my drivers license and gave the inmates first, middle and last name. Easy enough, right!? Not so fast, I was instantly denied access because I arrived on the wrong visiting evening. But wait, I had just talked to the Chaplain of the Jail who told me to arrive tonight at this time.

Once I told the woman about my dealings with the Chaplain, she acted as if she didn’t care. So I asked to speak to her Supervisor, famous last words. Then this big, tall, burly Officer appears and takes me to the side. I told him that I spoke with the Chaplain, the Chaplain told me to arrive tonight at this time, so this why I am here. He listened and had this real big ego and fake smile to go along with his big persona. The Officer proceeded to tell me that he was sorry that I was misinformed but I wasn’t going to be able to meet with this inmate under no circumstances.

I couldn’t believe it, I had cancelled my own bible study, I got my information from the Chaplain and I waited in line patiently with everyone. I then looked into his eyes and said very kindly, “May I speak to your Supervisor, please?” Then he lost it, he started to say,”Oh you want to talk to MY Supervisor, YOU want to talk to MY Supervisor?” This man turned bright red and no one watching flinched, I sat there in shock that he was acting so unprofessional and inappropriate for a Jail Guard. Then he walked away to make a call to his Supervisor.

As I sat and waited for the next Supervisor, the original Jail Guard came up to my face and stated I would not be getting in tonight. He was so mad and upset with me,  but before he slammed the door as he left I said,”God bless you.” He yelled back to me,”God bless you!” He was still so mad and angry, I couldn’t believe my eyes and what I experiencing?

Then to my surprise, I was greeted by a different, more professional Supervisor and he brought another guard with him; a female. I ,now, was telling my story for the 3rd time. I even played the message from the Chaplain of the jail from my cell phone. The Supervisor listened to me, heard the cell phone message and then looked at his colleague. At this point, I had no idea what was going to happen. Then he looked at me and said,”We are going to let you in tonight.” I instantly thanked him and God.

I was amazed how good God was to me that night, I held steadfast to my convictions. Satan didn’t want me to come into the jail and minister to that inmate but God did and that was beautiful. Whatever is right, holy or just is that of God and that is how we should live, everyday.

God is everywhere, Satan is not but unfortunately Satan leaves this stain on some of our lives if we let him. I see the stain on so many people’s lives, it’s disheartening. However, God sent His only Son to remove the sins or stains of our past. A stain is this lingering mark that doesn’t seem to disappear not matter how hard you try to remove it but that only comes from your lack of faith in God. God is the ultimate stain remover, just have faith.

Posted on by Kristina Knowles

Sitting with a Veteran…

I struck up a conversation with a very kind hearted man. This man was waiting for his wife, daughter and grand-daughter.

I thanked him for his service and started to talk to him about my son who recently graduated from The United States Air Force. He started to beam with joy to hear the story and look at the pictures from the graduation. It was hot and I wanted to get a cup of water, as I got up I asked him if he needed anything, he responded; just more time.

My heart sank, I never heard anyone ask for time in such a humble manner. When I came back, I asked him about time. He said, Oh Kristina, I am on the other side of my life, the side that is almost over. I have a beautiful wife, an amazing daughter and such a spectacular grand daughter, my time with them is growing shorter and shorter every day.

We don’t know how much time we have with each other he replied but I do know one thing, I don’t want to waste my time with them arguing, fighting or complaining. I want to have happy filled moments with them. I want smiles and not frowns, tears of joy instead of tears of pain. I started to cry just a little bit to hear this man, who fought in Vietnam, who loves his family and just wanted the peace of love to over rule his last remaining moments.

Do you think about the time you wasted on someone that didn’t care about you? Or all the wasted time you sat in front of a video game or television? Maybe time at a job that didn’t amount to anything? We waste hours upon hours of time on things that don’t really matter, until we are faced with the grim reality of time running out. I ask you to stop wasting time at this very moment on the things in your life that are wasting your time.

God waits patiently for all of His children to wake up but wouldn’t you rather wake up now before it’s too late?!

Posted on by Kristina Knowles

The Gift of Forgiveness…

Is the greatest gift of all.

Have you ever been hurt, has someone broken your heart, did they trick you or lie to you? Yes, me too but I learned that forgiveness is the only way to live a happy, fulfilling, more meaningful life. Why or how you ask? It’s because living any other way will leave you bitter, mean, nasty, unhappy and not fun to be around. You will loose sleep, begin to age faster, your thoughts won’t be your thoughts because you will be preoccupied with hurt.

I’ve experienced my own hurt in my life, I thought I was over it but I quickly realized I wasn’t while attending weekly Mass one morning. It was so eye opening, it hit me like a brick. It was the revelation I needed to hear. I personally know God wants us to go to church for this very reason, you will hear or experience something that will directly help you or someone you know.

In I John 1: 4-9, you will notice that God is light and there is no darkness in Him in any way. God also wants us to be filled with joy, so beautiful. So when we fully admit that we are Christians, He believes us. God wants us to fellowship with Him, together and know that the Blood of Jesus Christ cleanses us from all sin and guilt, so awesome. We must admit and confess our sins, we need to stop living in sin and not lead other’s to sin, as well.

When we live in the hurt, we live in darkness. Yes, it’s true. It may be confusing but let me help you understand. Hurt is sadness, sadness is pain, pain is hurt. Hurt is Satan, Satan is the enemy. God doesn’t plan a bad life for you, in fact, it’s the opposite. God wants joy, happiness, greatness and most important LOVE for you and me. Sin is unforgiveness, letting the hurt continue to reck your life is like letting Satan take up camp in your life.

Please let today be the day you decide that the hurt from your past will not continue to rule your future. I am so grateful to God for letting me wake up today so I can share this good news with you. I pray you help someone that might need to read this today as well. I am here for you if you need me…

Posted on by Kristina Knowles

I hate the hate against my Race…

the Human Race.

I recently put this title on my Facebook page. I got a few likes but no one questioned what I meant which was fascinating to me for so many reasons. First, because I am Bi-Racial, so which race was I referring to and secondly because in today’s climate people will speak out and ask but this time everyone kept quiet, did the comment go over everyone’s head or maybe because no one cared. All suitable reasons to me but I remained curious.

So let’s get back to that title, I don’t like hate. I really don’t like even typing the word hate, either. However, I have lived over 40 years on this great big beautiful planet called Earth to know better. I know that no matter who you are, how big or small, how tall or short, how beautiful or not so beautiful society says you are, how the color on your skin shows up; everyone has dealt with hate. Yes, it’s true, I have seen it with my own eyes day in and day out.

Some of you would like to think that one religion, creed, sex, color, ethnic group has it worse over the other but you are wrong. You are too blind to believe the truth because it’s easier for you to hide behind the negative agenda instead of embracing the truth, we all have felt hate in some form or another. I would think that this type of revelation would open the doors of happiness and love, instead of more hate, more violence. But again, that would be too easy and we must do things the hard way and continue to divide us all into groups. Instead of agreeing that we all have been hurt or hated against and it had nothing to do with race. Yes, I wrote it, nothing to do with RACE!!!

There is no denying that by living primarily with my beautiful Caucasian, Irish Mother, you might think I would hear some negative comments about me or my brother, no. Instead I heard the opposite, all compliments and praise. Maybe you might think I must have heard some racially motivated comments while spending weekends with my handsome African American, Native American Father, right!? No, wrong again, I felt safe, never afraid of who I was or what I looked like.

Don’t get me wrong, I saw something awful. I saw hate, in forms that had nothing to do with religion, creed, sex, color, ethnic group or racism but pure ignorance. I have straight friends and gay friends, I have friends who would be considered obese and friends who get teased that they have anorexia, I have friends who are too tall for being a woman and friends who are too short for being a man. I have friends that have been told they talk “black” and friends that “talk white”. I have friends that have hair that’s too curly or too straight, too long or too short. I have friends that feel too smart and friends who don’t feel smart enough, I have friends who have been called Nerdy, Jock, Princess, Goody-Goody, the list goes on and on and on. Does this resonate with any of you? We have been labeling people for decades without any of these labels having to do with race, just hate.

I am just asking you the next time you want to classify something as racism you might want to call it what it really is…hate. I have heard conversations of groups of women put other women down…hate. I have heard family members tease and make fun of other family members, that is not kind or loving but…hate. I have sat at a dinner table to listen to men put another colleague down, again hate. I have witnessed children bully other children, again not because of the color of their skin but pure…hate.

Don’t you get it, the world wants us to be at odds with each other, to create this divide against one another to promote hate and not love. Why? Because Satan would like nothing more than to have you let him move into your home and kick God out. God is love, God doesn’t ask us to hate but to love. And we are raising a society of people who don’t or can’t love themselves, self-hate is rampant. We need to lift each other up, stop the hate and start to love ourselves. I will close with racism does exist but more often than not, it’s truly just hate.

Don’t hate someone because they are different, love them because they are.

 

Posted on by Kristina Knowles

Love thy Neighbor…

As you love yourself. We have heard this over and over again, I can’t tell you how many times but it is a lot. Easy enough, right!?

Well, not really and not for a lot of us. First, we must raise up children who truly understand the definition of love by God. Then we must show these children by our
 example what is looks like when we truly loves ourselves to give it as a gift to others. God created love in all of us but we are so quick to abundantly love the world’s view of love and not His. 

I am not surprised that so many people find it so difficult to love themselves. Most can’t stop the self hatred that comes from comparing themselves to others, instead of being grateful for who God made them to be. We were all created in His image what better way to see ourselves, right!? 

Let’s all vow to God today that we are going to start to love ourselves today, even the ugly parts that we convinced ourselves exist. We will wipe away all the mean things that have been spoken over us by the enemy. And finally, let us appreciate ourselves where we are today and celebrate in anticipation of being better with every tomorrow.