Do you know the difference…

Between Mentally unhealthy and Emotionally healthy?

I had an awesome conversation with a 20-something year old recently. The light bulbs were going off by the end of our final words together. It all started with a question about a relationship. What does a healthy relationship look like?

Safe people with healthy boundaries is a good start. A safe, healthy person isn’t going to put you into a situation that would harm you physically, mentally, emotionally or morally.

Examples but not absolutes…

The physical harm would come from driving drunk and getting drunk, hitting you, abusing you, doing drugs and driving high. Anything that prevents you from being sober minded is putting yourself and the person you love in harms way.  “Be sober minded.”

The mental harm would come from daily abuse in the form of words, texts, emails or gossip. When a person abuses you verbally is changes who you are. Unfortunately, this is why some people contemplate suicide, who can’t be present in their own life because of depression, angry spirits, high-anxiety and closed minded people who refuse to be open to healthy communication. “Gentle words bring life and health.”

The emotional harm would come from ghosting, lying, manipulating, tricking and emotionally unavailable. When a person is self-centered, conceited or arrogant you’ll instantly notice their ideas and ways of doing things are the “only” way. They typically are not open to healthy advice or suggestions because they are centered focus on themselves. This type of behavior doesn’t allow for healthy growth in the proper direction, like a lastly, loving relationship. “The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouth of the fool gushes folly.”

The moral harm would lack trust, honesty, respect and purity within the relationship. The world has desensitized us to believe being good is wrong and stupid, maybe even crazy. We watch movies, television shows, play video games that detracts us, encourages us to live ungodly, inappropriate and degrade us. When your significant other tramples on you because your beliefs, it’s a strong sign he or she is NOT the one.

Heed my loving warning to all those in a relationship. Make sure you are a safe, healthy person first before entertaining or attempting a relationship. And when sizing up the person you are most attracted to, ask them the important questions. Being safe and single is far better than in a relationship with a mentally unstable person, I promise.

God loves us so much, He wants His best for your life. Lord, I ask that you bring forth the healthy people that need to matched with other healthy people. I ask that you heal the broken, the unsaved and the hurt, all of them Lord. Open our eyes to you Jesus, so we can see and know who you send instead of how we want. Thank you so much God for everything you continue to do for all of us, we deserve nothing. The blessings are unbelievable. In Jesus’s name we pray…Amen!

 

Dear Sarah Nicole Henderson…

I wish I could have been there for you, way before you decided to kill your daughters.

When I saw your story come across the news early Friday morning on November 3, 2017 I was in shock. I don’t have a television anymore, by choice, so when I am out and about I see the news. Today I happened to see your news.

When I saw the pictures of your beautiful 2 little girls, Kaylee and Kenlie. I imagined myself at their age, playing with dolls, riding my bike, coloring and roller skating. I even thought about how they might be looking forward to finishing their Halloween candy or getting reading to make a list to Santa for all their wishes for Christmas.

I also would like you to know that I wish you would have asked for help. I know it can be uncomfortable, the unknown is always uncomfortable. But I know there are a lot of great people that you could have trusted.

I listened to your husbands 911 call. I heard his pain, I feel terrible for Jacob. I can’t imagine what it must feel like to see his step-daughter’s bodies lying lifeless in the living room. Sometimes we can’t even begin to realize the pain we inflict on others and the repercussions.

Sarah, I wish we would have known each other. I wish you would have called me to help you. Sarah, I pray for you and your healing. Your story is important because it is a reminder that there are people like you that need help. And it’s okay to need help, it’s important that people actually go through with finding healthy professional therapist and counselors who can lead us in the healing direction.

God is merciful, He alone is the Healer and Redeemer. Sarah, God will help you but only when you let Him. I know things look incredibly daunting right now, rightfully so but I will be praying for you.

Remember to always report unusual behavior of a loved one, family, friend or neighbor. When we can provide the necessary help sooner than later, the healing can and will begin.

God bless.

The overview of the Five F’s…

F…FRIENDS

Friends and family mean a lot to me. A good relationship is worth it’s weight in gold. I have friends from school, work, my neighborhood and friends of friends. We need to nurture our relationships with our friends and family. If you are in a relationship that is hurtful, you need to reevaluate why you are letting yourself be hurt. Or, if you are blessed with friends and family that love and respect you, pat yourself on the back. I will share advice on how to keep a good relationship going or how to leave a bad relationship behind.

F…FASHION

Fashion is so fun and can be intimidating for some. My life long love of fashion started first in my DNA then was encouraged by my Mother. My Grandma Leola had a love of making clothing and owned her own dress shop, my Mother started dressing me in fashion as soon as I left the hospital, I didn’t have a chance or choice. However, I love helping people look and feel their best, that can be so rewarding. So I am here to help and assist in any way I can…you’re welcome.

F…FAITH

Where do I start, I absolutely love God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit with all my heart, with all my soul. I don’t know where I would be without it but I do know I will be a Christian all the days of my life. I want to help people find and understand Jesus on their own with awesome examples of my own experience. My testimonies are special, real and my own. God will put us through a storm for a good reason and we must be grateful for it.

No judgement here, just my daily belief in God. I will share my opinions and concerns of being a believer. What makes us all so amazing, is our own personal relationship with God. I attend church on Sunday’s, I bless my meals, pray every day and try to navigate through the reality of life while raising a man-child. I am a grateful person and appreciate all my blessings. God has a plan for each and every one of us, I pray you are using your gifts.

F…FITNESS

I enjoy healthy living and eating. My amazing parents decided at the ripe old age of 4 years old I would be a member of the College Park Maryland Boys & Girls Club. I love organized sports and have been an Athlete ever since. I have had my unfortunate times with mistakes and blunders when it came to eating and working out. I want to help those who want help and coaching maybe even a cheerleader in eating clean and healthy along with exercise. I share my easy recipes and easy work tips on my YouTube Channel: Kristina Deignan. The hardest part of anything is change, especially when we are bombarded with ad after ad and television commercial about this food or food restaurant. I am here to help you navigate through the confusion.

F…FINANCE

Your relationship with money is so important. I learned early and I am still learning to be a better steward for me, my family and God. I like to help people save money on purchases and curve their spending. And I am looking for new ways to improve my own relationship with money as well. I want to help others see the warning signs and avoid some of the mistakes I have made my self. I want to help you, let’s do it together.
Well, there you have it. The Five F’s and what they mean to me and you. I am excited to officially start my journey to help, save, minister, free and love all of you. God bless and have a great day!

Are you a victim of Identity Theft…?

We hear about cyber security and identity theft a lot lately. It’s scary to think that someone out there is willing to destroy you or to steal from you. It is sad, but it reminds me how we give permission for our own personal identity to be lost. I would love to see an ad that would remind us to protect our personal identity that God gave us when we were born. We can lose it when we start a new relationship, a new job, pregnancy, even a sibling can rob us of our own personal identity. And it’s because we let them take it away from us in the first place. I remember feeling a bit of an out of “Kristina” experience when I had my son. I am a huge advocate of being who God made you to be, I began to feel that slip away. I quickly realized it and got back to me. I felt it slip away again when I was divorced after 13 years of marriage. Be cognitive, be in the present and never forget you. The natural good of who we are is very special, never let anyone take that away from you. Protect it like you would eggs in a carton, a seat belt in a car, a helmet during a motorcycle ride or even a credit score. We are constantly protecting every thing but ourselves. Do you feel like you’ve lost your identity? I promise you can get it back!

I hope you have an awesome day!