Posted on by Kristina Knowles

The silly and unnecessary…

Games we play.

Wouldn’t it be great if we could be real and honest with our thoughts and feelings? I feel like people would rather play games than be honest. And if you don’t know already, playing games is a form of deception. Deception is lying and lying is wrong.

How did emotional game playing become so popular? Why don’t we call out the other person for playing games? And why do we settle for mediocre relationships with people who want to play games? It’s because on some level we are too tired to care or we have let it become normal to be treated this way. Or worse, maybe you don’t even know you are being played.

My parents, mostly my Dad and my Step Father Robert, taught me to be clear, direct and honest. If you’ve ever met either one of them or both you would see two completely different men but both were in the Military. You can’t be playing games or be vague in the military. However, lots of people are playing games in every day life and it doesn’t create safe or healthy relationships.

Let me tell you what is the worse kind of game playing, when it’s a family member. Family takes on a different definition for everyone. I would hope that your family is a safe, loving, respectful and caring group of people. Unfortunately, this is not the case for everyone but it’s a start. If you have a poor relationship with your family/loved ones, it’s time to make an effort to fix it and mend the brokenness. When family members play games with other family members there is an area of hurt, pain or dysfunction present. It’s so important to break down the barriers, be forgiving and mend the hurt.

The Five signs you are being played:

  1. Unclear conversations that are meaningless in order to avoid a real conversation
  2. Questions that are not answered with a direct answer
  3. Vague responses
  4. No meaningful connections, keeping relationship at a distance
  5. Deception, deceit and lying.

God never wired us to hurt each other, He commanded us to love and help each other. It’s  important that you change your life today, no more games that people play. In fact, contact each and every person in your life that play games, tell them that you are on to them and it’s…

Game OVER!!!!

 

Posted on by Kristina Knowles

I don’t dress like a…

Christian. Wow, really!?

A friend recently told me that a person I don’t even know or have ever met said I don’t dress like a Christian. I was taken back by her comment, then I had a really good laugh. I take pride in my beautiful wardrobe for my work-outs, my career, my casual time and my lounge wear. And then I started to think.

Wait a minute, hold up! Is this really about my wardrobe? Or is this a feeble attempt to condemn me for my style choices vs. their own style choices in the name of God? Timothy 2:9 Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire,

“Adorn themselves in respectable clothing”, I feel and believe I practice this. Now every once in awhile I will wear a cute sundress because the weather is HOT. Modesty and self-control are very important to me as well. Again, we all have our own interpretation of what these words mean; respectable, modest and self controlled when dealing with our clothing choices. I am extremely frugal, so I tend not to wear costly attire anyway. I studied fashion so I am well of aware of the major mark-ups on clothing.

What I will admit, over the years I have changed my look and my outlook on my clothing choices. I have progressed in a different direction the minute I became a wife, then a mother, then Mrs. Virginia, then a Director, then a Minister. All of these life events changed my view on myself. If I see someone wearing something I deem inappropriate, I pray for them. And you can do the same thing, instead of publicly condemning someone for their own personal choice of clothing. Shaming someone for their clothing choices is wrong.

God loves us, just as my clothing choices have changed over the years so has my relationship with God. I am proud of who I am, I am proud of my Son, I am proud to have the family and friends that He has put in my life. I am not perfect but I am good enough!

I am a Christian.

Posted on by Kristina Knowles

Sowing seeds of goodness or…

Sadness, which one do you do?

I recently met a girl who I think is smart, beautiful and adorable. We were getting along great until one day recently she told me her Mother let’s her underage drink. I was so hurt, sad and shocked. I think she could see it on my face. She then immediately defended her Mother by saying,”My Mother is teaching me to be responsible by letting me drink alcohol now.” Huh!?

I instantly went into Momma Bear mode and had a heart to heart with her. “Megan” was so upset with me, she got angry and mad. How dare I care about her? How dare I take the time to explain most alcoholics started drinking alcohol at her age? How dare I go against her Mother, the very woman that raised her? The conversation didn’t end well. And you should know that it didn’t end well because she was still hung over from the night before.

“Megan” wasn’t interested in hearing what I was trying to say. She wanted to continue to live this lifestyle that her Mother gave her permission to live so conveniently. It broke my heart hearing her defend the trappings of this world, that more often than not, get out of hand or control for so many.

Our conversation lead me to another great question, what type of permission are we giving our children to live out? Are we giving them a blind eye to certain bad behaviors that will manifest later in life and ruin our children? Or are we sowing seeds of goodness and greatness into them? Do we even know the difference?

Let’s all make an effort to make the necessary healthy changes for ourselves and especially for our children today. We need to clean house of all the bad habits and hang-ups that we have displayed to our children. There is no better way to make the world a better place than to first make “our” world a better place.

Peace be with you!

Posted on by Kristina Knowles

A pink “Virginia is for Lovers”…

Shirt walking towards me in TJ Maxx, oh my.

I couldn’t believe my eyes, I was so excited to be in Texas and to see a possible Virginian. I walked up to her and introduced myself. She politely introduced herself back, then I knew she was definitely from Virginia. I believe she could see the excitement on my face, so we started to talk in the middle of the store.

After she told me what part of Virginia she was raised, her family history and where she moved to after living in Virginia most of her life, things got real. “Grace” was a beautiful blonde woman in her late 70’s, great shape and had a bright light about her. Besides her pink shirt, I know her light pulled me in to strike up a conversation with her.

“Grace” began to tell me why she was in Texas, the horror story of addiction that plagues her family while living in Virginia but now her own Son’s life and his family. I listened to her intently and I immediately heard the similarity between her own Father, her Son and her Granddaughter. “Graces” son pleaded with his Mother to come visit with him to help him.

Mind you, we are standing in the middle of a TJ Maxx. And I am barely saying anything just listening and taking mental notes. “Graces” Son has called her a few times but she let the calls go to voicemail. And she is telling me more and more, more pain, more heartache, more addiction. I shake and nod my head and even hold her hand at one point.

You should know “Grace” has this amazing plan to help her family. And I couldn’t agree more with her plan. The light shines so brightly from her despite her pain and heartache, she is a Believer. God put us in each other’s path so we would talk to one another. A former resident of Virginia and Mrs. Virginia, living in Texas sees a pink(favorite color) “Virginia is for Lovers” shirt. Come on, you can’t make this stuff up.

Sometimes we aren’t suppose to talk, we just should listen. I was able to affirm and confirm a lot of things for her. “Grace” was grateful I approached her and introduced myself. And I told her I was grateful she felt safe to tell me her tragedy. She was quite surprised with herself that she was able to share such intimate details with me. I responded with,”What intimate details are you referring to, what are you talking about?” We both laughed and hugged each other good-bye.

God bless you!

Posted on by Kristina Knowles

Journaling for Jesus…

Is a rewarding experience.

I want to help you get closer to God, besides being in right relationship with Him. Journaling is mind blowing. So let me help you get started, it’s so fun and easy. And you will see the blessing of becoming more intimate with your relationship with Him. Here are 5 easy steps from me to you.

Step 1: Purchase for yourself a beautiful or handsome journal, composition book or note book immediately, today. Pick out something you will pick up and write in every day or night. Make sure it catches your eye to remind you why you bought it.

Step 2: Find a pen or pencil that you love and enjoy to write with. Why you ask? You need a great writing instrument to record your journaling with Jesus. It needs to be comfortable and effortless, trust me.

Step 3: Pick a special place and time in your day that you are willing to dedicate to journaling for Jesus. I like to journal in the morning because it starts my day off with my thoughts on Him. Some prefer to journal before bed, try both so you can determine what is better for you.

Step 4: I like to journal for Jesus in a way that allows me to pray for everyone in my life. Family, friends, co-workers, neighbors and the world. When I think about and concentrate on each group, I tend not to forget about anyone. Easy, right!?

Step 5: Need some ideas on how to Journal for Jesus? Let me help with a few suggestions. You could write Dear God, instead of Dear Diary for starters. Why didn’t someone tell me this sooner?! Another good idea is to list the person, situation, blessing, hurt, question or prayer and be specific on how you’d like God to help you help that particular person.

Now let’s get started, aren’t you excited? I am, if you have any questions I am so ready to help you. Please don’t complicate this experience, it’s super special. Relax, have fun, get real, be meaningful and journal for Jesus.

God bless!

Posted on by Kristina Knowles

Suicide is an expression of…

Self hatred.

Wow, what a horrible thought to think that people who want to take their life on some level hate themselves. And it’s probably safe to say, they hate their lives as well. Have you thought about how it might feel to hate yourself?

Do you know where self hatred comes from? I will share with you a few prevalent places. Home, the very place that is “suppose” to be safe, encouraging and happy. A Father, Mother, sibling or any other family member can attack another family member at any given moment. We should lift up each other, we should speak words of encouragement into each other and love each other with all we have to give.

Outside the home, children, friends, neighbors have an even greater influence on our life. You will either surround yourself with people who uplift  you, love you and encourage you. Or you will surround yourself with people who want the absolute worst for you, will encourage you to sin against God, discourage you and degrade you with mean words about your features, body image and your thoughts/ideas.

I am constantly thinking about other people, places and things. It’s just been my personality, very instinctual. I have come across a lot of people who have low self esteem but project outwardly a high sense of regard for themselves. It’s fascinating for me to watch, but it breaks my heart. However, it doesn’t serve anyone to pretend to be happy if you are really not happy or to suffer alone in silence.

I believe we must check in with our friends and family more often. We need to let them know we have good boundaries in place for good things to happen. It’s good to be a strong and supportive sounding board but don’t be a sponge. And always recommend good Christian therapy or counseling to those in your life who might be suffering alone.

 

Posted on by Kristina Knowles

Evil has been in this world…

Ever since Satan fell from grace out of Heaven.

I know it’s hard to believe or even fathom the heart ache that we all must endure as a society. Natural disasters, mass shootings, murder, addiction, abortion, disease, accidents of any kind, the list goes on and on. And the over arching question is always…why?

I choose not to ask why. My faith in God far outweighs my fear of Satan. Our world has a heart and sin issue that we so love to ignore. Our hearts are filled with hate and our sin nature prevents us from realizing the truth. A hate in which we refuse to let God into our hearts completely. A sin nature we inherited from Adam and Eve.

It can and will get better if we let God into our life for good. It can and will get better if we refuse to let Satan command our thoughts and actions. An idle mind is the Devil’s Workshop, my Grandma Miles use to tell me, and she is correct.

Guard your heart from evil, fill your mind with the goodness of God, put your family first, love your neighbors, speak kindness into everyone you meet, lift people UP instead of putting them down. Encourage people to want to be better, do better. Be the light in a world of darkness. Change what is wrong and do more of what is holy, right and just.

The more I see and read of this world, the more I turn to God. We believe it is good to be bad and bad to be good. Our children would rather be under the influence of drugs and alcohol than to be sober. Our children would rather take the easy road than the more difficult or hard road to be challenged. Our children are watching and we need to do better, be better.

Let’s all make a change today to really make this world a better place.

Posted on by Kristina Knowles

To pick up or to not pick up…

Your dogs poop.

Please just pick it up! I am beyond boggled by any individual that rescues, purchases or fosters a dog and refuses to pick up their own dogs poop-mind blowing. I believe just like the people who believe it’s okay to leave shopping carts anywhere and anywhere-completely selfish.

While walking Bentley today, I was stopped by a person who was amazed to see that Bentley poops into a bag…lol. I know, it’s a sight to be seen. Way before I moved to Texas with my Son and my dog Bentley, Bentley was trained to poop into a recycled grocery bag.

I don’t mind being confronted now and again by someone who has just watched Bentley poop into a bag. I live on a golf course, we see a lot of traffic, people are amazed. Then it dawned on me, why don’t people stop and ask the people who don’t pick up their dog’s poop?

Where I live, it’s the rule, pick up your dog’s poop. The city where I registered Bentley, it’s the rule, pick up your dogs poop. You may not believe it’s a big deal,”It’s just dog poop.” I’ll tell you why it’s a big deal. Once again, we are teaching our children how not to follow the rules, how not to take care of our dogs and how not to care-period. And with that, you will start to erode away good principles we as a society put forth to make the world a better place.

So let me make this clear, you have a responsibility to pick up your dog’s poop. If you don’t, you are a selfish, uncaring, lazy and inconsiderate law/rule breaker. Here’s the good news, you can start picking up your pets poop today. And you can apologize to your family for not making it a priority to be a better role model. Make today, the day!!!

Posted on by Kristina Knowles

A table and chairs…

From God.

After my divorce, I moved from Virginia to Maryland. I sold a lot of items and kept a lot of items. There was one thing I would need, a table and chairs that I could put in the kitchen. The eat-in kitchen sat empty, I needed a table to have breakfast, lunch and dinner with my son, Griffin.

There were only a few things standing in the way of buying a table and chairs. Limited funds and a lack of desire to buy anything. However, I have always believed that my meals with Griffin were and will continue to be important. Griffin and I have had some of the best conversations while breaking bread.

I had gone to Wal-Mart and Ikea to see what type of table and chairs I could find that were inexpensive, nothing moved me to buy it, despite my need. So I decided to go to God instead of relying on my own decision, I prayed. Once I prayed about it, I never thought about it again. Then this happened…

One day my friend Ray and I decided to go to a Farmer’s Market in College Park, Maryland. We found a lot of delicious fruit and vegetables, it was such a fun day. As we headed back home, I started to drive home a different way. I couldn’t even tell you why.  We were driving past a few stores then I saw it.  There it was in plain view, a sign on the side of the road that read: Free table and chairs. I started to tear up, drove past it in shocked then pulled over. I am not sure what Ray was thinking but I didn’t care.

There was my table and chairs all for me from God. When you ask God for His help, His provisions He delights in blessing us. God is here for the little stuff(table and chairs) or the really big stuff. We need to go to Him for everything, I mean EVERYTHING. Which school, where should we live, what food should we eat, all of it everyday-all day!

So I am happy to report, I still have the table and chairs. I was even able to feed 12 family members on this beautiful blessing from God. God blessed me far better than I could have ever imagined with faith and patience.

 

 

Posted on by Kristina Knowles

“Who do you say I am?”..

Jesus asked.

I love this question, it makes me ponder how people truly view Jesus. And Jesus was just as curious as I was, that is why he asked. Jesus wanted to know after everything he did, after all the conversations, after all his teachings, after every miracle performed. Who do you say I am?

I recently thought to myself, that if we asked this very question to all the people we met in our lives, who would they we were? Would they focus their response on all the positive or negative? Would they have a little to say, or a lot to say? Or would they remain silent?

When I ask this question to myself about Jesus, I instantly smile. I say, Jesus is the Savior, Jesus is the only way, I say Jesus is my Redeemer. I say, Jesus died on the cross for our sins and performs miracles each and every day. I would say, Jesus because of God through Mary, conceived by the Holy Spirit became man and is seated at the right hand of God. I say, Jesus will come again to judge the living and the dead and his Kingdom will have no end. I say, Jesus is amazing and his teachings have influenced me and touch my life.

Could you and I start today to recognize the value of asking ourselves,”who do you say I am?” Would you live your life differently if you cared about who people say you are? Are you living your life in a way that would be pleasing to God? Are you living like Jesus? Are you loving more, helping more, forgiving more, happy more?

I challenge you to ask yourself this very question every day. Feel, each and every word in this question: Who. Do. You. Say. I. Am?  Would you hear? I Am Loving to everyone, I Am Kind to everyone, I Am Good to everyone, I Am more like Jesus to everyone. Let’s decide today to be different, to be better. When we change for the better in every facet of our life, we change the world for God!