Posted on by Kristina Knowles

When you decide that addiction…

Is more meaningful than being a parent or protecting your children-tragedy. I was struck by a story I came across that feels more like a nightmare. A mother who knew her addiction and all the issues she had. A husband who she let back in, even though he wasn’t a safe or quality person.

The result was, after a day of diving into their addiction together, their 14 day old infant would be found dead in a wooded area right next to their home. The couple was found guilty. Neither one pleads guilty, in fact, both say that they didn’t do it, but they hope the authorities find the person or persons who did.

The Judge said something that was meaningful to me, as a Mother. The Judge said that he didn’t believe the Mother quite understood what being a Mother meant. The Judge also remarked that a Mama bear in the wild would protect her bear cubs at any cost, even at the cost of her own life. And that made me think on a deeper level. The Mama bear is 100% sober and connected to her responsibility-her cubs.  The woman I am referencing is battling her addiction only connected to-her self.

The wife was aware of his countless infractions with the law since he was a teenager to now, as an adult. The Mother decided to be with him anyway. The Mother knew he was not a kind or safe person for her or their children, she decided to be with him anyway. The Mother was warned by family, she decided to be with him anyway.

This story transcends on so many levels, like a cautionary tale. Addiction is something we should actively avoid at all cost, every day. Letting unsafe people into our lives and our children’s lives doesn’t make sense, especially if we know better. And children are a BLESSING, never to be discarded or hurt.

Have you ever heard or read a story like this? Unfortunately, it is more common than uncommon. We need to pray to God for these people, even though their story might upset us. Also, if you suspect someone you know is struggling with an addiction help them get help.

A redemption story would be absolutely beautiful for everyone involved with a Goldy ending.

 

 

 

 

Posted on by Kristina Knowles

368 dresses…

I owned at one point.

I am not proud of the that number, in fact, I had no idea I was out of control. I was on a reality television show called WHAT NOT TO WEAR: WANNABE and out of the blue one producer asked me how many dresses do I own? Let’s be honest, there may be women out there that have more than 368 dresses but they are not me.

I was briefly affected by the number then I quickly disregarded the number and kept living my life. Then bible study happened with Father Joe. We were reading scripture, Luke 12:16-21 to be exact, it hit me like a ton of dresses-literally.

Luke 12:16-21

16 And he told them this parable: “The ground of a certain rich man yielded an abundant harvest. 17 He thought to himself, ‘What shall I do? I have no place to store my crops.’

18 “Then he said, ‘This is what I’ll do. I will tear down my barns and build bigger ones, and there I will store my surplus grain. 19 And I’ll say to myself, “You have plenty of grain laid up for many years. Take life easy; eat, drink and be merry.”’

20 “But God said to him, ‘You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?’

21 “This is how it will be with whoever stores up things for themselves but is not rich toward God.”

The very reason I go to bible study and church is for this very purpose. I will hear or experience something God intends me to hear or to share. But this night, it was for me. Something came over me, it’s unexplainable. I started to tear up in front of everyone because I knew enough was enough.

I have fashion in my DNA(Grandma Leola was a dress maker). I came home from the hospital as a newborn totally decked out (thanks Mom), then as a young girl I studied Fashion Merchandising, modeled, worked in fashion retail and eventually landed on a fashion television show. I have helped many people find their fashion sense and on budget, it’s a gift. However, I didn’t manage my gift well for God. I became focused on finding pretty dresses at pretty low prices. I was a Pro but this scripture cut me like a golden pair of dress maker’s sheers.

Then my life started to change for the better. I stopped buying dresses at an alarming rate. I started to donate my beautiful dresses and sell the rest at yard sales and on-line. I hated going into clothing stores for awhile, I changed for God’s best. See, God’s plan for our lives is amazing and clear. And I know now more than ever I did the right thing many years ago.

We all don’t have the same addictions. But for most of us we might have something in our lives that occupies too much space and attention. These things take control over our thoughts, like an obsession. Drugs, porn, alcohol, food, maybe even dresses should never take control of your life. God should, His way is the only way.

Posted on by Kristina Knowles

Are you the Victim or Victor…

Of your life?

 

I pray you are the Victor and you are living a life with joy, peace and happiness for God. And if you are the Victim, I pray if you are reading this you will make an effort to read this entire blog to no longer be the Victim but the Victor. Let me show you the difference.

A Victim will constantly complain about almost everything in life, even down to the food served to them at a fast food restaurant. Victims live in the past of their hurt and refuse to heal or see a therapist. A Victim will relive their unhealthy past to everyone they meet, even relive it in their own head over and over again. And you can’t even be who God wants you to be because you are so focused on your dysfunctional past. You can’t be in a healthy relationship with yourself because you are so focused on your past. Since you can’t be healthy with yourself, you certainly can’t be in a relationship with another person. Shocker, right!?

When someone is living in their past dysfunction, I like to call that a dust storm. And when there is a dust storm, you can see but not clearly. And until the dust storm settles in your life and mind you can’t be who God ultimately created you to be.  Easy right!? Not so fast, easy if you truly want to be healed. Most Victim’s love to play the Victim, it’s like a role. People expect them to be negative, melancholy, angry and or sad, it’s their normal but not normal.

So when you want to stop playing the madness of the Victim role these are the things that will start to happen almost immediately when you want to be the Victor in your own life:

  1. You will no longer bring up the past hurt and chaos.
  2. You will no longer complain about everything.
  3. Your heart will heal and become happier, day by day.
  4. You will no longer hurt.
  5. You will no longer play the role of Victim.
  6. You will no longer use drugs, alcohol, retail therapy or food to make you fake happy or high.
  7. You will stop blaming the past for your present or future.
  8. The people around you will notice how different you are for the better, not worse.
  9. You will notice that you will begin to love yourself and essentially love others.
  10. You will get closer to God.

The Victor is the goal, Satan loves his Victims. Satan whispers the bad memories of your past to bring you down, not lift you up. Satan would love nothing more to ruin you and your family. We have the power of God to rebuke Satan and his evil. Remember God loves you and me, He is constantly pulling for us each and every day.

 

 

Posted on by Kristina Knowles

What Wheel are you on?

I ask this question because some of you might feel like you are on a hamster wheel, a ferris wheel, wheel of fortune or maybe you feel like you are on a wheel rolling down a hill totally out of control with no breaks.

The Hamster Wheel makes me think of people who wake up everyday and go about their life in the same exact manner everyday. Unfortunately, these people don’t even realize the one track life they are on. Why!? I will help you, it’s because when they look around they see that most in their inner circle behaving the same way. Tunnel vision living is not for you.

The Ferris Wheel makes me think of another group of people that live in very high, high’s and very low, low’s. Sure you might say to yourself, isn’t that life? Well, it doesn’t have to be, more importantly it’s not healthy. We make so many different decisions everyday to make our lives good or bad. It’s safer to always strive to make good healthy decisions in order for our life to be whole and holy.

The Wheel of Fortune might remind you of a television show but that is not what I am referring to. I am talking about being on the wheel of gaining wealth, aka fortune. What good is it to gain the entire world, and lose his own soul? (Mark 8:36) You can’t only focus on money, wealth and fortune if you truly want happiness. The love of money will lead to greed, emptiness and corruption. You can’t have two Masters of any kind.

The lone Wheel rolling down the hill out of control. The people on this wheel are experiencing anxiety, addiction, despair, fear, loneliness and/or abuse. Unfortunately, these people rarely reach out for help and feel totally, completely out of control.

No matter what wheel you might be on, get off! God ultimately wants you to release yourself from the trappings of your unhealthy decisions. God sent his one and only Son to die for our sins. He didn’t say,”Go child of mine, be dysfunctional, be emotionally unstable, angry, mad or sad.” It’s the exact opposite, God wants you to love Him and His ways, not man’s. God wants the best, His best for you and me.    


                                                                via Daily Prompt: Wheel