Posted on by Kristina Knowles

The 400 lb. woman who I…

met 3 years ago.

“Debbie” is a very thin, frail woman, with thin hair and an unhealthful appearance. I never thought much about how she looked until the day we both carried on a conversation longer than 5-10 minutes.

We started to talk about health and wellness. Debbie was complimenting me on my athletic physique. I responded back with, “how she managed to keep herself so thin?” Debbie responded with a diagnosis of death she (un)fortunately received in her late 40’s. She explained that while working as a nurse for a Doctor, Pharmaceutical Reps. would come in and try to win her with fancy dinners and decadent treats. She quickly began looking forward to these free meals and favors, not truly caring or realizing the negative health affects.

The fascinating part came when she explained how she felt so much pride getting paid to do her job well yet neglected how badly it affected her health and well being. She continued that after being wined and dined by the Reps. she would go back to the Doctor she worked for and encourage him to use their brands of medications. She admitted to researching the medicine, discussing the side affects and cost. These meetings became a personal conquest. The more research she did, the more she could challenge the Reps. knowing full well they would have to try harder to persuade her. Yet as time went on she quickly noticed her weight skyrocketing. My jaw was dropping the entire conversation.

Sadly over the years her weight topped 400 lbs. and nearly brought her to her death bed. I stood there in shock and disbelief. Debbie is now a size 4 and weighs about 100 lb. on a good day. It’s quite unbelievable to see this woman who lost 300 lb. I couldn’t stop telling her how proud I was for her. I was gushing and smiling with such excitement and even gave her a big hug. Then Debbie began to tell me how her personal Doctor told her that, “unless she made the decision to have a very crucial heart surgery, she would likely die”. Debbie then confessed that she literally had nothing to lose. I can either die because I am 400 lbs. or take the risk to save my life. I can determine to lose weight and if the surgery goes well, my life can be saved.

Thank God the operation was a success! Debbie lived 30 years after her life saving operation. She was able to retire, see her children get married and play with grandchildren she thought she would never meet. Sadly, about a month ago Debbie passed away alone in her home. I am so grateful I was her neighbor, a friend and someone who wanted to learn more about her journey.

God, thank you for neighbors and their stories, their testimony and their life. Thank you for forgiving us for being unavailable to your good, holy ways. Lord give us the strength to eat for nourishment and health. Help us focus on our bad unhealthy habits so we can change for the better and not the worse. Thank you for loving us, thank you for life and death. We lift Debbie up to you. Amen

Posted on by Kristina Knowles

The Uber ride I will never…

Forget or stop sharing the story with others.

I agreed to donate my time, husbands money and food to a pregnant student. I enjoy meal prepping so I donated my services to her this week. The food is prepared fresh so I ran out the night before to Walmart. When I got into my car, it wouldn’t start. I then jumped into my husband’s car and set off to buy the groceries.

When I returned home, I used my husband’s car to jump start my car. I needed to be prepared for my delivery the next day. I even drove my car around for 40 minutes after I jump started it-yay! I headed up stairs to make meals then to bed. It always feels like Christmas when you help others. I love this feeling.

Jumped out of bed, packed up all the healthy food and headed downstairs to my car. I got in, the car didn’t start-uggghhhh noooo. I could not believe it, I was literally so prepared . I called my husband immediately, Chris told me to Uber to her and back. Wow, okay if you say so.

The Uber driver was here in 7 minutes flat which would get me there at the exact time the student and I agreed to meet before her classes-thank God. The Uber driver was nice and kind, we instantly started talking. I don’t know exactly how we started talking about Jesus and God but it happened. And it was so fantastic!!

I knew this was God’s plan because the conversation flowed with ease but wasn’t totally sure. We arrived at the location, I dropped off the food and got back into the car. As we headed back to my home the conversation started right back up again. “Lenny” wanted to know how I got my relationship with Jesus. Lenny mentioned I had a joy he could only dream of.

I asked “Lenny”, “if Jesus wanted him to do something out of his comfort zone, would he do it?” “Lenny” replied that while he would not say no, he would not say yes, either. He would instead ask why? I told him the reason he wasn’t feeling the same joy that I do, could be his doubt in God’s leading. I mentioned to him that, “if he wanted God’s best for his life, then he should trust in His promptings”. We should always ask the Holy Spirit to lead and guide us. “Lenny” was confessing a lack of faith that we all struggle with at times. Is it possible we are missing out on many amazing and abundant blessings by not acting on God’s gentle urgings? The next time we hear them, should we question and ask why? Or instead say, “Yes Jesus!”

Our conversation ended with Lenny admitting he was going to accept an invitation by his neighbor to go to church with them. Amen! Lenny needed confirmation and got it from God through our conversation. I left my Uber with a huge smile and a pep in my step.  Then I quickly realized I had a car battery problem to contend with.

I waited until Chris came home to give me a jump start so we could drive to Auto Zone to figure out the issue with my car. And as I am telling Chris about the Uber ride as he gets into my car, the car starts. I cried, like tears pouring out like a faucet. How is this car starting? I tried so many times before calling Chris earlier this morning, this can’t be happening. Then just to make sure, we drove to Auto Zone and had the attendant check it out. “Miss, your car is 98% charged”….what???? Tears, tears and more tears of complete joy and confirmation.

Let God use us, don’t be mad, just be glad in all circumstances.

Father God, thank you for the things we don’t know about. Thank you for using us for you. Thank you for loving us even when we might think you forgot about us like Lenny. We love you so much Lord, please forgive us and our inability to see our issues. Help us see our evil ways and correct them. Help us love you more. Help us read the bible more. You are absolutely amazing and beautiful. In Jesus’s name we pray…Amen!!!!

Posted on by Kristina Knowles

Have you ever had an unexpected…

Best. Day. Ever with your Former spouse. I did, this past summer.

I came home to Maryland to spend time with my son while he was on leave from the military. I was having an amazing lunch with my Spiritual Mentor in Washington, D.C. After lunch, I headed back to my car suddenly I got a call from my son. I was so happy to hear from him, he invited me to meet him in Annapolis to jet ski. I jumped at the opportunity and headed to TJ Maxx to purchase a swimsuit first.

I made it to the pier in Annapolis where we planned to meet. I changed and sat patiently waiting for my son. A few minutes later I got a phone call. Hi, Mom. Hi, Griffin, Mom? Yes, Griffin! Can Dad come jet skiing with us? Of course, Griffin. But Griffin, are you sure he wants to come? Yes, Mom. Ok Griffin, see you both soon. Bye Mom, I love you. I love you too, Griffin. See you soon, click.

Shortly after that phone call, Griffin and his Dad showed up to the pier where we would all go jet skiing. There was a significant wait time for the jet ski’s, so we went to have lunch. And after lunch and jet skiing we all went to Griffin’s Dad’s home near by. We shared a steak, a Ledo’s pizza and amazing conversation. It was a happy, healthy day and all deemed so by God.

Griffin was able to bask in the enjoyment of his Mother and Father spend the day together in right relationship with each other after 12 years of divorce. It was something I had prayed for with my Priest, Father Joe 11 years earlier. I have been on my knees lifting up  prayers to God for a day like this one. In recent years, my relationship with my former spouse was cordial sprinkled with frustration in disagreements at times. Never perfect but we would always show up and be present at Griffin’s sporting events, ceremonies and birthdays the important things.

I share this beautiful story, trust me it was so beautiful, with you because our world continues to break every day. Our children are growing up in broken homes. Angry, ugly, mean, homes were people have lost their common sense. Children are growing up to be fractured adults from the brokenness of these divorces. Families everywhere continue to divorce, the very foundation of the family is cracking right before our eyes. The media, movies, television and reality television have made this nightmare of divorce “normal.” There is nothing “normal” about divorce, God hates divorce. Give in, throw in the towel, it’s all about me, not you, not the children but the “me” mentality. Instead of being about God first.

Lord, Father God, forgive us please!!! We are so sorry Lord, forgive us. Help our hearts to be Christ centered focus and NOT self centered. Stop the madness of the “me” and let us be about YOU Lord. Help us see our family and friends who struggle with their marriage so we can help them Lord. Help us send in reinforcements, Father God. Please rescue our families from the evil one. Let us live in a state of gratitude, mercy and grace. Take what the enemy wants for evil and make it good God. Restore the brokenness, the confusion, the hate, the bitterness. Let us be soldiers for you in love. Give us the discernment to help each other instead of tearing each other down. Thank you Lord, for everything even the hard times. In Jesus’s name we pray…Amen.

Posted on by Kristina Knowles

Do you know the difference…

Between Mentally unhealthy and Emotionally healthy?

I had an awesome conversation with a 20-something year old recently. The light bulbs were going off by the end of our final words together. It all started with a question about a relationship. What does a healthy relationship look like?

Safe people with healthy boundaries is a good start. A safe, healthy person isn’t going to put you into a situation that would harm you physically, mentally, emotionally or morally.

Examples but not absolutes…

The physical harm would come from driving drunk and getting drunk, hitting you, abusing you, doing drugs and driving high. Anything that prevents you from being sober minded is putting yourself and the person you love in harms way.  “Be sober minded.”

The mental harm would come from daily abuse in the form of words, texts, emails or gossip. When a person abuses you verbally is changes who you are. Unfortunately, this is why some people contemplate suicide, who can’t be present in their own life because of depression, angry spirits, high-anxiety and closed minded people who refuse to be open to healthy communication. “Gentle words bring life and health.”

The emotional harm would come from ghosting, lying, manipulating, tricking and emotionally unavailable. When a person is self-centered, conceited or arrogant you’ll instantly notice their ideas and ways of doing things are the “only” way. They typically are not open to healthy advice or suggestions because they are centered focus on themselves. This type of behavior doesn’t allow for healthy growth in the proper direction, like a lastly, loving relationship. “The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouth of the fool gushes folly.”

The moral harm would lack trust, honesty, respect and purity within the relationship. The world has desensitized us to believe being good is wrong and stupid, maybe even crazy. We watch movies, television shows, play video games that detracts us, encourages us to live ungodly, inappropriate and degrade us. When your significant other tramples on you because your beliefs, it’s a strong sign he or she is NOT the one.

Heed my loving warning to all those in a relationship. Make sure you are a safe, healthy person first before entertaining or attempting a relationship. And when sizing up the person you are most attracted to, ask them the important questions. Being safe and single is far better than in a relationship with a mentally unstable person, I promise.

God loves us so much, He wants His best for your life. Lord, I ask that you bring forth the healthy people that need to matched with other healthy people. I ask that you heal the broken, the unsaved and the hurt, all of them Lord. Open our eyes to you Jesus, so we can see and know who you send instead of how we want. Thank you so much God for everything you continue to do for all of us, we deserve nothing. The blessings are unbelievable. In Jesus’s name we pray…Amen!