Posted on by Kristina Knowles

A very unexpected Mother’s Day…

Gift that would make me cry yesterday, not on Mother’s Day itself.

I got married a year ago to an incredibly loving and kind man. Chris also happens to be Godly, which is very meaningful to me. Chris has 4 children from a previous marriage, yes, I know how Godly can he be if he’s been married and divorced. Well, to be totally transparent, he has been married twice before me, I make marriage number three.

I know, I know and I was married once before my marriage to Chris. My former spouse and I had one son, who I absolutely love and adore. Chris and I are positively in love with God but we are blemished, not perfect-sorry. Here is the good news, blemishes clear up and go away. God is a forgiving god, He sent his only begotten Son to provide the payment for our sin, ourselves.

Chris lovingly bought me a gift card from my new stepson’s and a separate gift card from my son on Mother’s Day. I was so excited and grateful, it was to a shoe store. I held onto those gift cards for months, not finding any shoes I needed or wanted. Then while out shopping with my girlfriends, I came across a pair of bedazzled van styled shoes. The sparkle and shine that these shoes illuminated was beautiful and bright. I had to have them immediately. The shoe store didn’t have my size so I would have to wait a few weeks to wear them. Oh the anticipation…

Two weeks later, the bedazzled shoes arrived. When I opened the box, I made a happy screech, put the lid back on and slid them under my bed. What, why on earth would my first instinct be to cover them up and put them away? Why wouldn’t I wear them immediately and strut around? And then it hit me like a ton of bricks.

At that moment I wasn’t ready for all the bedazzleness, the newness, the sparkle. It was overwhelming. And I believe that is how some of us feel about God. We unfortunately have the evil one whispering to us in our ears telling us we don’t deserve goodness, we are not worthy and God doesn’t love us. I am here to tell you, the evil one is dead wrong.

Our God says,”Come to me, I love you, I forgive you, I created you, let me help you, I have a purpose for you, follow me.” And we resist Him, we ignore Him, we believe the lies. And most importantly we feel so unworthy of His promises, His acceptance and His love. Just because we are not perfect, does not mean we are not acceptable. Everyone has sinned, we are fallen human beings. Here is the good news, we have REDEMPTION through Jesus Christ, amen!!!!

I have sinned, I always ask for forgiveness. I love God, He blesses me, there is proof. The shoes I bought using my Mother’s Day gift cards represent two things for me today. When God looks at me, He sees the newness, sparkle and shine, because I am forgiven. And the way I feel when I wear these shoes, I am worthy of God’s love because He is the Author of my newness, sparkle and shine. Even when I am being disciplined by God, I am worthy of Him and His love for me and you.

Father God, you are so Holy. Thank you for giving us the desires of your heart and not ours. We know we need to be still so we can hear you. We need to see you in all things, especially the small things. Lord, please give us a grateful heart, a giving heart that aligns with you, and only you. Thank you God for seeing us shiny and new and not as dirty rags. Please forgive us, please guide and direct our steps to you. In Jesus’s name we pray…Amen!

Posted on by Kristina Knowles

Have you ever had an unexpected…

Best. Day. Ever with your Former spouse. I did, this past summer.

I came home to Maryland to spend time with my son while he was on leave from the military. I was having an amazing lunch with my Spiritual Mentor in Washington, D.C. After lunch, I headed back to my car suddenly I got a call from my son. I was so happy to hear from him, he invited me to meet him in Annapolis to jet ski. I jumped at the opportunity and headed to TJ Maxx to purchase a swimsuit first.

I made it to the pier in Annapolis where we planned to meet. I changed and sat patiently waiting for my son. A few minutes later I got a phone call. Hi, Mom. Hi, Griffin, Mom? Yes, Griffin! Can Dad come jet skiing with us? Of course, Griffin. But Griffin, are you sure he wants to come? Yes, Mom. Ok Griffin, see you both soon. Bye Mom, I love you. I love you too, Griffin. See you soon, click.

Shortly after that phone call, Griffin and his Dad showed up to the pier where we would all go jet skiing. There was a significant wait time for the jet ski’s, so we went to have lunch. And after lunch and jet skiing we all went to Griffin’s Dad’s home near by. We shared a steak, a Ledo’s pizza and amazing conversation. It was a happy, healthy day and all deemed so by God.

Griffin was able to bask in the enjoyment of his Mother and Father spend the day together in right relationship with each other after 12 years of divorce. It was something I had prayed for with my Priest, Father Joe 11 years earlier. I have been on my knees lifting up  prayers to God for a day like this one. In recent years, my relationship with my former spouse was cordial sprinkled with frustration in disagreements at times. Never perfect but we would always show up and be present at Griffin’s sporting events, ceremonies and birthdays the important things.

I share this beautiful story, trust me it was so beautiful, with you because our world continues to break every day. Our children are growing up in broken homes. Angry, ugly, mean, homes were people have lost their common sense. Children are growing up to be fractured adults from the brokenness of these divorces. Families everywhere continue to divorce, the very foundation of the family is cracking right before our eyes. The media, movies, television and reality television have made this nightmare of divorce “normal.” There is nothing “normal” about divorce, God hates divorce. Give in, throw in the towel, it’s all about me, not you, not the children but the “me” mentality. Instead of being about God first.

Lord, Father God, forgive us please!!! We are so sorry Lord, forgive us. Help our hearts to be Christ centered focus and NOT self centered. Stop the madness of the “me” and let us be about YOU Lord. Help us see our family and friends who struggle with their marriage so we can help them Lord. Help us send in reinforcements, Father God. Please rescue our families from the evil one. Let us live in a state of gratitude, mercy and grace. Take what the enemy wants for evil and make it good God. Restore the brokenness, the confusion, the hate, the bitterness. Let us be soldiers for you in love. Give us the discernment to help each other instead of tearing each other down. Thank you Lord, for everything even the hard times. In Jesus’s name we pray…Amen.